Silver Lining of a Dark Cloud
by CityGirl7768
Summary: In the darkest moments of Olivia's life she must fight not only for she safety but her sanity; While Her friends race against the clock to save her. What dark road lies ahead of her? What is the silver lining to her survival?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so I know that the season 15 opener has created a lot of story's. Frankly I've read a ton of them. Some are really great and some not so much. I but I've been kind of rolling this story around in my head for a really long time now. And if you all hate it I completely understand. I promise it will be exiting and interesting. I love reviews and am always open to comments Questions, subjections, and criticism. The only criticism I will not take is people who are just saying this story has been really over done. Or I'm sick of reading story where Olivia in hurt, or in trouble. To you I can say there are all kinds of filters on this sight.**

**This story will be rated M so I can do whatever I want to do with it. Please only read this if you really want to honestly. I don't know how dark it will get or how disturbing it will be. I'll try not to overdo it but again I'm sure you will let me know if I have over stepped.**

**Disclaimer- I don't own anything. All Characters belong to Dick wolf. But this is my story!**

**Thanks enjoy and review!**

He sat there staring blankly at the T.V. his mind wasn't able to process what he was seeing. He had just called her two days ago hoping to get back in touch. When she hadn't answered he had assumed that she just didn't want to talk to him. He had also been calling from a number she wouldn't know. But he knew Olivia was always getting calls from unknown numbers. She handed her card to every Victim, family member, possible witness, or neighbor. Had she even heard her phone ring? He knew how busy she always kept herself.

The news anchor repeated the story. This time he listened he needed to know what was going on.

"A NYPD Detective with the Special Victims unit has been Kidnapped from her Manhattan apartment."

He watch on in horror as Olivia's picture flashed onto the screen. Her hair was long again and she was in uniform. Her chocolate eyes looked right through him. In the photo she was slightly turned and he could almost hear her voice. He knew how much she had hated posing for a photo. Her eyes were happy though. They always had that passion behind them. Her face was beautiful. She had hardly changed at all in the time he had been gone. He had missed her so much over the years.

"Detective Olivia Benson was last seen living the department two days ago. It was discovered she was missing this morning. At this time the NYPD believes this man"

Another photo pops onto the screen. The man has a wicked smile and devious eyes. He know that this must have been her latest case. She must have gotten to close. Not that he blamed her that this sick son-of-a-bitch had taken her. Never the less he knew her to well. He knew how this had happened. This was no different than the other sick-o's they had dealt with in the past that Olivia would get them all wound-up and then they would come after her. She was willing to sacrifice everything for almost every case. It killed him each time she went too far. He knew one day it would come back after her.

"William Lewis" The reporter said, as she continued to relay details.

"Broke in to Detective Benson's Apartment and forced her to leave with him. It is unknown at this time the whereabouts of Mr. Lewis or Detective Benson. If you have any information or believe you have seen them please call the tip line at the Manhattan Special victims Unit at the number at the bottom of the screen"

His blood was boiling. How could this be happening? Especial now! He had finally worked up the nerve to face her, to get his best friend back and she was missing. Taken by some psychopath. He stood up balling his hands into fists. He should have been there. How could she have been missing two days and they only found out today? He needed answers. He needed to help look for her. No, He needed to find her!

With that in mind he grabbed his jacket, keys and cell phone. He walked quickly out the door got in his car and started driving. He needed answers right now and there was only one place to get them. He headed back to his old job. The place he had spent twelve long years sitting at a desk working, sitting across from the woman that meant the world to him. That was now missing. In the hand of a man that could be doing god know what to her.

As he drove he silently prayed that they would find her soon, prayed that she would be unharmed, prayed that when she was home safe that she would be willing to forgive him.

XxXxXxXSVUXxXxXxSVUXxXxXxXSVUXxXxXxX

SVU Squad room

Fin and Munch stood in front of the board looking over Lewis' previous crimes; Looking for patterns that might lead them to her. Amaro and Rollins had gone out to chase another lead. It wasn't a very stong one but Amaro was losing his mind sitting there taking calls from physics that thought they knew where she was.

" I just don't see it" Fin said as he turned away from the board.

" This isn't going to help us find her. We know the pattern but there are a million places her could have taken her." Fin growled as he walked back to his desk and slumped down in his seat.

Just then the doors to the squad room burst open as Amaro and Rollins bust back in.

"We think she could be in long island. That's where he was yesterday. The lawyer girlfriend says she spent all day with him. And Swears she never saw liv." Amaro yells

" Yeah she says. They went to her parent house for dinner and that they drove there in a Lincoln. We believe it was the one Lewis stole from his roommate at the half way house they have local PD headed to the house now. We told they we would meet them there" Rollins updated them Matter-o-Factly

" Go. NOW. All of you" Cregan barked as he fallowed his detectives out.

He turned quickly and faced Cassidy who had been sitting at Olivia's desk.

"Stay here" He ordered

"But Captain…" Cassidy began to protest before Cregan cut him off.

"No Brian. If she finds a way out of this she's going to call you or the station. Either way you should be her. This is just another lead. Your involved with the victim. You can't go out there looking for her."

Cregan was right. My head was in the wrong place. And He knew Olivia well. If she was alive and able to get away from the freak she would call the station. He needed to be there.

In that moment it hit him that he had thought 'IF SHE IS ALIVE' how could he even question it. She is alive she will get way from this. She'll be okay.

He watched as the squad left. Hoping they would come back with her.

Just as he put his head down on Olivia's desk he heard the door to the squad room open again. He looked up to see Elliot standing there.

**Please let me know what you think. If I get some positive reviews I will be updating quickly. If I feel like no one is reading it I might scrap it…well probably not I'm writing this story either way.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter : 2

Brian snapped to attention as he saw Olivia's former partner walk into the squad room. Standing quickly he felt himself over loaded with emotion. He had felt so emotionally drained all day. With everything happening, his mind had been on a roller coaster.

But seeing his old college brought it all back to focus. One part of him wanted to knock Elliot's lights out. He knew exactly how much it had hurt Olivia. She had told him she had reached out to Elliot for months for any kind of explanation, any kind of closure. So many things had left Olivia hurting in her life. And many of them had no closure no peaceful or happy ending.

Although on the other hand he wanted to rush over and hug the man. Seeing a familiar face; One that had been a mentor to him in his time at SVU. Elliot was also someone who loved Olivia and would be like him just doing everything that he could to bring her home.

"Elliot" Brian Called out to him

Elliot looked around the squad room he needed to find someone he knew. None of the faces looked familiar. He didn't see the Captain, Fin, or Munch. But hearing his name he turned to see a man in uniform sitting at Olivia's desk. He walked swiftly in the direction of the man. Elliot quickly recognizing the man.

"Cassidy?" Elliot was shocked He hadn't see Cassidy since he left SVU

"What are you doing here?" Elliot asked Brian with one eyebrow raised

"I could ask you the same thing." Brian Said flatly still unsure of how to handle his girlfriend's ex-partner

"I saw the news. I had to come down. I had to find out what was going on. I need to know where she is." Elliot rambled out in one long shaky breath.

"Well we all want to know where she is." Brian's eyes dropped to the ground. Feeling the pang in his heart just thinking about her missing.

Brian couldn't hold it back anymore. He launched himself at Elliot. Hugging the man he cried slightly.

"It's good to see you brother" Brian said in a choking gasp

Elliot was completely taken by surprise by the man's action. He had always see Cassidy as a soft hearted man. And he could tell Cassidy was hurting.

"I'm sorry." Elliot replied patting Brian on the back comfortingly.

Brian pulled away. He realized he was making a fool of himself. He took a few steps back and wiped his face. He quickly tried to recompose himself.

Elliot turned from Brian giving him a minute to gather himself. As he turned to saw the board of crime scene photos. One side of the board was covered in people he didn't know and locations he didn't recognize. The other side of the board broke his heart. He saw Olivia's picture; it was the one that he had seen on the news. And then pictures of her apartment. Elliot stepped closer to the board. He saw pictures of her living room. It was trashed. Over turned furniture, duct tape, hair, blood, cigarette butts, beer cans, broken glass and what looked like meth on the coffee table. Elliot felt his stomach roll. He was going to be sick. It was no longer she was missing. Now it was she was hurt, and she was with someone cruel and high.

The next set of photos was of her bedroom. The bed was stripped, with no sign of her bedding. What had this sick fuck done to her? His mind raced. The photo next to it showed the window leading to the fire escape. It was wide open and displayed a smudged bloody hand print. It appeared to be hers like she had been trying to hold on to the window sill as she was dragged out the window. Good girl, she was fighting back. She was alive; At least when she was forcibly removed from her apartment.

Next to the window was her dressed some of the items on top were knocked over. But standing strong was a photo of them at a Christmas party years ago. Neither of them was looking at the camera they were busy talking to each other. She looked so beautiful. She had her hair pulled up and she was wearing a snug black dress. She had her head up and was looking him right in the eye as they talked. She was always confortable with him. She really was his best friend. She wasn't shy or flirty in the picture she was honest and open. And he loved her for everything that she was.

A smile graced his face for an instant while he thought of her. But it instantly turned back to the previously worried and sickened look that had been on his face since he first left his home.

Lying slightly in front of that photo was a picture of her and Cassidy. They were both smiling and looking into the camera. It looked recent. That would explain why he was here. There were so many questions about what had happened over the last few years that he had missed. Hopefully he would get the chance to ask her himself. His mind continued to spin trying to take in all the crime scene photos. He needed to find her.

The Next set of photos was of her kitchen. There wasn't much out of place; still messy cans and butts littering the counter tops. Next to a picture of the stove was a lab report. It stated that keys found in the frying pan had traces of Detective Benson's skin and blood on them. He felt the bile rise in his throat. He looked at the photo. It showed a frying pan with several keys in it. Looking closer he recognized one of the key's it had his initials on it. It was the key for his home in Queens. He had given it to her in case of emergencies. He was going to be sick the psychopath had burned her with her own keys. More specifically he had burned her with one that had meant to be a safety link.

He couldn't control his body anymore as he felt his stomach revolt. He was going to be sick. He turned away from the board. Brian was standing close behind him and instantly saw the green look on Elliot's face. He quickly reached down and snagged a trashcan from next to Olivia's desk and passed it to Elliot.

Elliot took the trash can and rapidly dipped his head over it heaving his stomach contents into it. He set the can down and wiped his mouth.

"Come on man. Let's go get some fresh air. Alright?" Brian asked as he put a hand on Elliot's back.

Elliot couldn't speak so he simply nodded. Brian grabbed the trash can and quickly handled it. walking quickly back to Elliot handing him a small cup of coffee from the squad room coffee pot. Elliot took the cup from Brian. And they both moved out of the squad room to the Elevator.

Elliot took a quick sip of the coffee. It was bitter and only lukewarm but it tasted better than the bitter bile in his mouth. Taking another sip he realized how strong the coffee was and turned to Brian.

"Munch made this didn't he?" He said with a half smirk on his face

"Yeah, I think so. It's been a while everyone has been pretty busy." He smiled.

"Yeah, well Munch's coffee could burn holes in the walls." Elliot looked down at the cup and grimaced. He remembered getting on Munch's case about his coffee once. He had stormed out of the squad room upset about the day. Olivia had fallowed him and they had ended up talking about what had really got to him. He had later apologized to Munch; who had brushed it off with some smart-ass comment.

When they stepped off the elevator they were quickly faced with the squad. All with ranging facial expressions from worry to stress to anger, to sadness. What had they found out? Was this going to be the end? Every time Brian had seen them come back to the squad room he feared they had come to tell him they had found her and that she was gone. A lump rose in his throat.

"What is it?" Brian asked a hint of held in tears obvious in his voice.

Cregan lowered his head and just shook it.

"They were already gone when we got there." Fin said with a heavy sigh.

Cregan looked back up looking at Elliot for the first time. Knowing that all they needed was another hot head in the squad room today. With everything that was going on. He should have known Elliot would show-up. How was he going to explain to Elliot that this creep had been in there custody and was released by the judge and then was able to get to Olivia. He knew that they had a connection beyond explanation. He also knew that even though Elliot had been gone for three years that. If they didn't find Olivia it would kill him. It would kill Brian too…Hell it would kill the whole squad himself included. Olivia was what kept them all going.

"Elliot" Cregan said extending his hand.

Elliot took his former captain's hand.

Fin and Munch quickly fallowed in shaking hands with Elliot. The silent exchange lasted only moments.

Meanwhile Nick and Amanda Stood quietly sharing equally confused looks. Neither of them had seen this man before. But he seemed well aquatinted with the squad. Nick wasn't in a mood for anything today. He needed to find his partner that was the only thing that was important right now.

Nick quickly stepped around the group of people and walked to the Elevator and rapidly tapping the button. Amanda followed behind him. She quickly took a second glance at the strangers face. She did recognize him. It was Olivia's old partner. She remembered the photo that had been on the desk across from Olivia's before Nick had joined the squad. It was a photo of him and a baby. They Stepped onto the elevator and headed back to the squad room.

Cregan had seen his two newest detectives make their way out of the group and head back up. He knew that they all should be headed back up. So he motioned for them to head back to the elevator. Elliot, Brian, Fin, and Munch all walked back towards the elevator and once it had opened they stepped in rode back upstairs.

Authors Note: Okay so I know that a lot of this is just kind of set up. But I promise it will get better. Also the story line is not going to go along the show lines. As far as what happens to Olivia and how long she is missing. Also should have the next chapter up soon. Maybe even tonight if I get really motivated. Please review and let me know what you're thinking. Next chapter will see what's happening with Olivia and Lewis.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Two days earlier**

Olivia stepped into her apartment. She was exhausted and annoyed. She set down a bag of groceries down on the kitchen counter. She had thought making a real meal for her and Brian tonight might lift her mood. Honestly she didn't really feel like doing anything tonight other than going through Lewis' case and trying to find something she could bring to Barba. There had to be something they could go after him with. He shouldn't be able to get away with rape and torture. But with Melinda confirming that Alice Parker had died of natural causes , and Barba not wanting to go after a case he couldn't win the judge had no choice but to drop the case.

She pulled out her phone and saw that there were no messages and missed calls. She had almost been expecting to go back to work tonight. Then again Cregan was probably going to actually make her take the two days he had ordered her home for.

She dropped he phone, keys and gun on the counter alongside her groceries. As she did this she was suddenly aware of a noise that seemed to be coming from the hall. She stepped forward and called out

"Hello?" It was probably Brian. He often had less crazy hours then she did.

But what she saw next was not Brian. Standing there in the dark shadows was William Lewis. He held a gun straight at her head and wickedly smiled at her. He mind raced. How could this be happening? How on earth had he gotten in? she had used the keys to get in her apartment.

"Welcome home Detective Benson" Lewis sneered taking a step towards her.

Olivia's heart began to pound in her chest. Flight or Fight? All she could do was stand there and stare. She was frozen. Suddenly her hand flew up to her side where her gun should be quickly remembering she had already taken it off. 'Shit. I don't even have a gun to fight this freak off' she thought to herself.

Lewis stepped closer reaching out to her face. She instinctively swatted at his hand to keep him off of her. Already having forgot about the gun that he was holding on her. He snatched her arm out of the arm and spun it around to her back. He then shoved the gun to the base of her skull; Pushing her further into her apartment.

She wiggled slightly to free his grip on her arm but it was useless. He was bigger, stronger, and if she were able to get away he would most likely shoot her. At this rang he wouldn't miss. And with the current placement of the weapon she would be dead before she hit the ground.

"What do you want?" she snarled at him.

It was a stupid question. She had been through his case file. She had looked through all of his cases. He raped, tortured, and dehumanized women. Now she was in his grips. She wasn't going to let him get away with this.

"You know what I want!" He barked at her. He then shoved her hard and she when crashing to the floor. She Let out a slight groan. He stepped to her side and sent one full force kick into her side. She cried out at the crunching sound her bones made. Her arms raced to her side to protect herself from another kick.

He reached down and grabber her arm. Hoisting her up by it she squirmed and pulled hard trying to get away from him. She threw a few punches that only landed in a solid mass of chest and one kick that seemed to only hit his boot. She tried again feeling his grip tighten on her arm. She looked up seeing his evil smile. 'Son-of-bitch is enjoying watching me struggle.' She thought.

Swinging once more she landed him hard in the side of the jaw. The smile only disappeared for a second then reappeared. And he slapped her hard across the face. She screamed as the force sent her cascading to the floor. She let out a blood curdling scream hoping anyone would hear her. She looked up just in time to see kneel and bring the butt of the gun down on her head. Suddenly things were fuzzy and then faded quickly to black. Her head fell to the ground. And her lifeless body lay in front of Lewis.

Lewis stood up and grabbed her dragging her over to a chair. He set her down in the chair. She slumped slightly forward as he let her go. Her head lulled to her shoulder. Lewis walked back to Her bedroom and picked up his gym bag loosely by the strap.

Lewis walked back into the living room. He smiled down on his knocked out companion. She was his biggest thrill. When Alice Parker's death had lead to his release. He knew he had to have Olivia. From the moment she had interrogated him. He knew it. She was Beautiful, smart, fierce. She would be a challenge. And he was ready for a challenge. He was going to take all of her beauty and fight. She would beg for him to kill her in the end. She would be nothing by the end of there time together. Maybe he would kill her. He'd love to watch her bleed out. But it might almost be worth watching her suffer to let her live.

"Guess will just see what you want huh?" He spoke to her knowing full well that she was still unconscious.

He kneeled down in front of her and opened the bag. He pulled out a roll of duct tape. He pulled off a section and wrapped it around her ankle and around the leg of the chair. Then he bound her writs together and taped them to the back of the chair. Then he tipped her head back. She had a small trickle of blood on her forehead and a slight bruise starting to form. As well as a red hand shaped welt from the slap.

He was getting so exited just watching her. This was going to be fun for him. And He didn't want to have to wait. He leaned forward and kissed her on the lips forcefully, then slapped a strip of duct tape over her mouth. As much as it exited him to hear her scream he couldn't have anyone come looking yet.

He stood and walked to the kitchen. He looked down at the counter and picked up her key ring. He jingled them slightly and laughed. Turning to the stove he turned on the power and placed a frying pan on it. Then he went to work spinning each key off the ring then dropping them into the pan.

Just as he dropped the last of the keys into the pan; He heard a muffled noise come from the living room. 'She's up' He smiled at the thought. He walked out of the kitchen letting the keys continue to heat up. He reaches into the bag and grabbed his next tool.

Sure enough she had her eyes open. She looked frantically around the room. Pulling and twisting as much as she could against the bindings. She had to get loose. Lewis walked back over to her with a bottle of vodka in his hand. The look on his face was evil, pure and simple. He didn't care what happened to her. Well he did as long as it was painful and humiliating and he was responsible.

" you want a drink?" He asked a cruel smirk on his face.

She shook her head back and forth.

"No? Okay well that's okay we've got some other things we can do." He said setting the bottle down on the coffee table. Pulling a knife from his pocket he walked towards her. She struggled harder to get away from him. But it was pointless. He reached out with his other hand and grabbed at the top of her shirt. Bringing the knife to the top he cut it slightly. She looked up at him in confusion. 'That's it?' she thought as he folded the knife back up and placing it back in her pocket.

He reached out again and grabbed her shirt again. She flinched again. She did not want to be touched by this scum. She felt his fingers tighten on the fabric and then pull hard; ripping her shirt open. The fabric was loosely connected at the bottom but the rest was flopped open and starting to slid slightly on her shoulders.

"Very nice Detective." He said with an approving nod

He then reach out for her once again this time running over her skin. It made her nauseous. He groped at her breast and trailed a finger down between them down to her toned stomach . She groaned desperate to get him to stop. 'Please stop' was all she could think. It was a screaming voice. But with the tape on her mouth there was no way to scream. He'd like it to much anyhow. She couldn't give him what he wanted.

When he caught the glint of something shiny on her hip, he moved his hand from her stomach to the object hooked to the top of her pants. He grabbed at it and pulled it from her. Her Badge lay in his hand. He had a new idea. He then walked back to the Kitchen.

Olivia was panicking. What is he doing in there? How had she ended up in the chair? Why did her head her so bad? She was quickly able to remember what had happened. At least she was able to sort of keep her bearings for the moment. If nothing else she need to remember what happen. She would need to be able to recount what happened when she got out of her.

The Thought then dawned on her what if she didn't get out of this. 'No. Now stop that! You're going to make it out of here. You are a survivor.' Giving herself a slight pep talk. She knew his pattern. She knew what he was capable of doing. She just needed to hold him off long enough for the squad to come looking for her. 'Shit. No one is coming for at least two days. Wait no Brian is coming over. He'll stop him" She thought hopefully.

Lewis walked back into the living room in one hand he held a frying pan and in the other he held a pair of tongs. He walked over until he was in front of her.

"you want to play?" He asked

All Olivia could do was groan. He sat down on the corner of the coffee table next to the bottle. He Set the frying pan down and then opened the bottle and took a big gulp. As he exhaled he looked into her eyes.

"you sure you don't want a drink darling?" He sneered

**Alrighty that sums up chapter three hope y'all are enjoying it so far. I would love reviews!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors note: Alrighty so first of all think you for ready my story. Second of all sorry about the wait on the update I've just had a lot going on and then I got another idea for a story and was trying to figure out how I wanted to write that because I didn't want it to affect this story. Anyhow,Slightly longer chapter hope you all enjoy**

**Warning: Chapter contains graphic violence. Sexual Situations. And Language.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters :( (Secretly wish Dick Wolf would share)**

**Chapter: 4**

"You sure you don't want a drink darling?" He sneered

Olivia's stomach rolled. The thought of alcohol was extremely upsetting. A grimace washed over her face. And she shook her head.

"Okay" Lewis said with an uncaring tone and a quick shrug

He set the bottle down. He grabbed the tongs and picked a key out of the pan holding it close over her skin. She could feel the heat radiating on of it. It was going to hurt but she tried to mentally prepared herself for it. She hoped if he didn't get a reaction he would give up. He moved it around watching her reaction as he moved it deciding where to brand her. He plunged it forward and caught her off guard as the key seared the flesh of her right breast.

Olivia was less prepared then she had thought letting out a whimper. She wanted to scream but the tape held her from being able. Tears pricked at her eyes. She held them back. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

Lewis smiled at the noise she made. Leaving the key another minute he pulled it away; looking at the flesh that supported the fresh wound. The area around the mark glowing bright red.

He tossed the key back in the pan and picked out another.

"Do you want me to burn you again or do you want a drink?" He asked in a half-hearted laugh

she just shook her head. She couldn't handle another burn already. Her mind raced. She thought back to pour Ms. Parker suffering this. She watched as he placed the key and tongs down.

"Drink?" he asked again holding the bottle closer to her.

She nodded slowly. She didn't want to drink but it was better than being burned again.

Lewis scooped up something small in his hand she couldn't see what it was. He held it cupped in his palm holding the bottle by the neck between his index and middle finger. In his other hand he picked up the gun holding it on her. Her own gun being held on her was just another power trip he was using against her.

He stood up. Towering over her he aimed the gun right between her eyes.

"I'm going to take the tape off but you scream and I kill you right here!" He threatened

"Now are you going to be a good girl?" He asked her with a quizzical expression plastered on his face.

She wanted nothing more than to kill him. But she would have to do as he said for now. There was nothing she could do. She was restrained unarmed and alone. So she nodded.

Reaching down he ripped the tape from her mouth. It hurt as it pulled at the fine hairs on her face. But truthfully the pain was nothing compared to the burning on her chest. She sat there silently glaring at him.

He placed the gun in the back of his waistband seeing she wasn't going to scream; moving the bottle to the now free hand.

"Open up" He said

She made no effort to comply with his demand. He reached out quickly grabbing her jaw and forcing it open. He tossed whatever was in the hand into her mouth. Immediately she could tell they were pills. 'oh god he's drugging me' her mind race. She try to spit them out but before she could he had the bottle shoved into her mouth pouring the vile liquid in. she began to gage and cough as it hit the back of her throat. He removed the bottle and covers her mouth.

"Swallow!" he demanded

She could feel it in her lungs and her need to cough was getting over whelming she choked down the vodka and pills. He smiled and removed his hand as she began to violently cough trying to relive her lungs. Before she even had a chance to catch her breath she felt another shocking pain radiate through her chest as Lewis held another key to her chest.

He laughed. He knew she was trying so hard to keep herself composed but he hadn't expected her to give up easy. That's what made her so fun.

Olivia kept her mouth shut. Lewis' threat to shoot her if she screamed still ringing in her ears. She was relieved when he pulled the key back away from her skin.

He frowned. Hoping he was going to get more of a reaction from the surprise burn; especially with the tape off of her. But there was nothing. Perhaps she was stronger than he had thought.

He dropped the key back in the pan and grabbed the last one. The one with the initials carved into it. This one he wanted her to see. He didn't know the meaning behind the initials. Maybe they were for the squad room or her desk or something else. But it was important to some degree and he would leave those letters in her flesh. Holding the key out for her to see he lowered it and pushed it into the sensitive flesh on her stomach just above her navel.

Olivia let out a small cry. He held it still though. He wanted to hear her beg him to stop.

Tears breach her eyes and quickly traveled down her face. Her head was up and her eyes were closed she couldn't watch as he burned her again, especially with Elliot's' key. So many painful thoughts ran through her head. She mentally prayed that he could come and save her from this. She wished she could mentally call him to her somehow. 'Please Elliot, whatever you're doing please, please know I need you.'

"Please" Olivia whimpered the word a silent prayer.

Lewis heard this. Begging! Exactly what he wanted.

"Begging are we?" He badgered her

"Please" he mocked

'If he only knew' she thought. Exhaling sharply a breath she'd been holding as he pulled the key from her.

Her face grew red in a combination of anger, embracement and the vodka sloshing around in her empty stomach. She was so angry at herself, at Lewis, at Elliot, at her situation. She just wanted to be done.

"You know what just shoot me." She yelled at Lewis

Lewis turned back to her. Aiming the gun at her.

"Giving up already Detective?" He asked; a glow of satisfaction in his eyes.

"You're never going to get away with this. My partner, my squad, the entire department will hunt you down." She said in the strongest most authoritative voice she had.

"Let them look. They will never find your body. With no body I'll never even see trial." He snarled back at her.

Olivia swallowed the growing lump in throat. 'My body' she thought dreadfully.

He put the key back in the pan. He walked backed to the kitchen and placed the pan back on the stove and turned on the burner. This time he added her badge to the hot pan.

Olivia struggled hard against her bonds. Her shoulders and wrists make grinding noises as she twists and pulls at her arms. She making herself frantic like an animal trapped in a cage. She needs to get away. She could feel her head spin with pain and the feeling of the vodka going to her head.

She let out a grunt as she gave one last jerk to the duct tape. Then she sighed feeling defeated.

Lewis walked back into the living room without the pan. 'Thank god for small favors' she thought to herself. Lewis had a lit cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth as he sauntered in front of her. The smoke snaked around his head. He reached for it and flicked the ash on to the floor.

"No manners huh?" Olivia asked

Lewis leaned down in front of her taking a long drag of his cigarette. He then blew the smoke into her face. Olivia quickly turned away from it and waiting for it to clear.

When it had passed she turned back and Lewis was still leaned over. She went to turn again but he snatched her face in his hand. He forced his lips against hers. She desperately jerked in all directions trying to remove herself from the vial kiss.

Lewis let go a moment later. And Olivia spat at him hitting him square in the face. A brief minute of satisfaction can over her until he plunged the lit end of the cigarette into her collarbone. She gasped at the sudden and intense pain of the burning flesh. He held it there until it went out then flicked it onto the floor.

Olivia's breathing was labored and she was truly beginning to panic. A flash of fear and pain crept over her face.

Lewis sat down on the corner of the coffee table and lit another cigarette. He watched her like a cat with a mouse. He had all the power all the control. He could pounce at any moment. But some of the funniest parts were the waiting. He took several puffs off of the cigarette before holding it out to Olivia.

"Do you want a drag? You look a little stressed." He asked

Olivia's mind raced. No she really didn't. She didn't smoke. She had briefly as a rebelling teenager but that had been a life time ago. On the other hand thinking back to the relaxing quality of a cigarette made her briefly think it wouldn't be terrible right now. Maybe if she complies he won't put it out on her.

She nodded.

"Really Detective? Pegged you for a straight edge type. No drinking or smoking or Anonymous hook-ups. No Huh? You've got a bad girl side huh? I like it." he lectured her

He held the cigarette closer to her.

"Those things will kill you. You know?" He said

She nodded lowering her head and carefully taking the filter end of the cigarette between her lips desperately avoiding his fingers. she quickly inhaled the smoke in to her lungs and smoothly exhaled. As Lewis pulled the cigarette back to take a drag himself Olivia began to go into a coughing fit.

Lewis only laughed then stood up; crushing out the cigarette into her other collarbone. She continued to gasp and cough as Lewis mad his way back to the kitchen.

Olivia's Coughing had just subsided as Lewis re-entered carrying the pan. He sat down grabbing the tongs and grasping the first key and without word or warning pushed it into her stomach slightly to the left of the last one.

"Stop Please!" She Begged through gritted teeth. But he held it there longer than the others.

He pulled it away and immediately grabbed the next key. standing up and walking behind her he pushed it to her right arm just below the elbow. She pulled her arm only managing to have him move it slightly and continue burning her. He walked back to the pan and tossed it in.

Next his tongs grabbed her badge. He held it up for her to see. Tears running down her face from the pain of the fresh burns. She looked at the badge. Her symbol of power. A twisted smile came over his face . He moved he badge so it was over the exposed flesh just above the top of her pants. Just above where she normally wore her badge. He pushed it into her soft skin.

Olivia screamed out in pain. The surface of the badge was larger than the keys or the cigarette. She couldn't hold it in. He pushed it deeper into her skin. She bit down on her lip trying to suppress another scream of agony.

When he finally pulled the badge away she could see the clear imprint of her badge. Forever branding her skin. The pain was starting to make her vision blur. She closed her eyes listening to everything around her.

She heard the badge hit the frying pan and Lewis' heavy footsteps as he made his way back to the kitchen slamming the pan down and coming back to her.

"You're not going to sleep on me are you the sun's almost up; Time to start another day." He said shaking her. She opened her eyes and glared at him. Her head was still spinning and her heart was pounding. But she fought hard to keep her eyes open and on Lewis.

Olivia watched as Lewis grabbed the bottle of vodka. He grabbed her face.

"NO!" she screamed out with all her might.

"You don't get to say no!" he hissed in her ear. Forcing her mouth open he crammed the bottle into her mouth clinking it against her teeth. He poured more and more into her mouth until it over flowed her mouth. He pulled the bottle away covering her mouth and nose until she swallowed down the liquid.

He took a quick sip off the bottle and set it back down.

"You sure are getting me all hot Olivia." He said with a raise of his eyebrow

"Your screams are exiting me."

Olivia couldn't breathe between crying and the liquor in her lungs. She gasped for breath and finally was able to get it back after a moment. He head still spinning. He wanted her awake yet he continued to pour poison down her throat. Olivia looked back up. Lewis stood directly in front of her. His thumbs were tucked behind his belt.

"You ready for some fun?" He asked as he began to unbuckle his belt. She squirmed and shook; trying to get away from him. The force of which sent her tumbling to the floor in the chair. She now lay on her side.

"Fine you want to be down there. That works too." He said

He head continued to spin. She was going to pass out the pain radiating through her body and the drugs and Alcohol. She couldn't keep them open. She glances up at him one final time. To see that he had pulled his penis out of his pants and was beginning to jerk off over the top of her. It was the last thing she saw as her world blurred into blackness

** Thanks for reading! Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I apologize for how long it has taken me to update. My computer crashed and I didn't have money to get it fixed seems like it's working a little better now. Really sorry, please forgive me and I will make it up to you. Have some time off work so hopefully be able to get a few chapters written. Thank you to everyone who has read. Please keep it up. And bring on the reviews. I love them.**

**Chapter 5**

Olivia opened her eyes and found herself extremely disoriented. Her head was spinning and her shoulder was killing her. The sun was shining through the window. It was blinding. She could hardly keep her eyes open. She heard footsteps coming towards her and she quickly closed her eyes. Hoping that if he thought she was still passed out he would leave her alone. She was wrong. As he approached her he began to talk to her.

"I've got plans today. Guess that means you're coming to. You don't mind a ride in a car trunk do you?" Lewis spoke softly to her; like you would to a sleeping child. It made her stomach roll.

He then stomped a boot in front of her face and her eyes shot wide open.

"There she is. You ready to get up?" he continued with his coddling talk. Reaching down and yanking her back in to her previous sitting position on the chair. She let out a small whimper at the pain that the action had caused.

"Shut up bitch!" he hissed at her.

All she could do was stare at him. She knew he wasn't going to be talked down or talked out of anything. He knew what he wanted. Thankfully despite the evidence clinging to her hair and shirt; it appeared he hadn't removed her pants while she was unconscious.

In one swift motion Lewis stepped forward and forced her mouth open dropping several pills in and then the bottle of vodka which was nearly empty. He drained the remainder in her mouth as she violently twisted and turned attempting to free herself from his hands.

He pulled the bottle away and she reluctantly swallowed to allow her to breath. She took a couple of panicked breaths before she felt something she hadn't expected. He was removing the tape her legs. This was her chance. She thought to herself. When he was done with one leg he began on the other. Her heart began to race. This was the moment to act. She didn't know how long the cocktail of booze and pills would take to turn her to mush but she needed to get away now!

When he finished her other leg she kicked out at him catching him in the jaw and knocking him back. She set her feet on the ground and stood up then realizing she had forgot her hands were taped to the chair. She shook hard and to her disbelief the chair dislodged leaving her hands still behind her back. She looked back to Lewis. He was now standing blood dripping from his mouth.

He ran at her cussing

"You little bitch!"

She narrowly dodged him forcing her farther into the living room. He threw a hard punch and caught her in the side of the face knocking her against a wall knocking things to the ground. Lewis reached down to grab her still restrained arms and was surprised with the sharp kick to his right knee; which buckled and sent him to the floor. She jumped up as fast as her now wobbly legs would allow her.

Just as Olivia went to run he reached a hand out and caught her ankle sending her face first into the opposite wall. Olivia cried out in pain as her ribs connected with the sharp edge of a table. Lewis reached out with his other hand getting a firmer grip on her ankle. Both laid there for a single moment.

Olivia ran her hand under the table seeing if she could find anything to use to defend herself with. Suddenly she felt something she moved it slightly.

'My phone. Thank god' she thought to herself.

Avoiding pulling it to far out she quickly hit the redial and left it under the table hopefully who ever had been her last call would get the message that she was in trouble and send help.

Just as she heard it begin to ring she felt Lewis start to pull her by her leg she kicked out wildly at him and managed to get him loose long enough to get to her feet and run.

He ran off behind her and she took off towards her bedroom desperate to find her back-up weapon. But Lewis was right behind her. She squirmed hard fighting against him. Kicking at his shins and trying to get the tape off of her arm. The combination of sweat that now rolled down her body from the adrenaline and the jerking motion freed her left arm which Lewis still held tight. She then swung at him with her right fist. It trailed with a matted wad of tape. She caught him off guard. He grip loosened just enough for her to retch her arm away from him

She bolted towards the window; Desperate to get it open. And get down the fire escape. She no longer cared about getting the perp she just wanted to get the hell away from him. He shoved her hard against the dresser and knocked her head into the wall.

Blood began to drip down her face he threw her on the bed and climbed on top of her. He straddled her just above her waist and pining her writs beneath his knees. Olivia could feel the bones in her writs grinding and popping. She knew if it lasted much longer he would undoubtedly break both of her wrists and she would have less of a chance to fight her way out of this with broken bones.

Lewis slapped her hard across the face. She held the scream knowing it would only excite him more; and inevitable causing him to lash out more and hurt her more to continue her reactions. He grabber her face and forced her to look at her.

"Keep your eyes open bitch" He barked

"You hear me?" He said shaking her roughly

"Yes" Olivia said her voice weak

"You're going to behave or I will start shooting you with your own gun. You got that?"

He didn't wait for her to respond

" Now, we are leaving."

He stood up and grabbed Olivia by her battered wrists. he pulled her gun out from his waistband and held it to her check which now was covered in blood from the head wound.

" Move and you're dead."

Olivia could hardly stand. She knew she needed to fight. But at this moment she could hardly stand. She could barely hear what he was saying. She saw black spots forming in front of her eyes. The pills and vodka were catching up to her. Not to mention she had taken several blows to the head and probably had a concussion at this point.

Olivia closed her eyes momentarily hoping it would help. She then felt something go over head. Her eyes snapped open realizing she had the pillow case from her bed over her head. Her arms flew up to remove.

"What did I say?"

"You stand there or I will shoot to right in the head."

Olivia froze realizing that she had missed the edge of the pillow case and was now standing with one hand putting pressure on the bleeding head wound which was soaking quickly through the thin pillow case and covering her hand and the other was held out defensively.

" Stay." He commanded as though she was a dog. And he was her master.

Olivia began to sway slightly on her feet. She couldn't move. Her feet felt as though they were glued to the floor and the rest of her was turning to Jell-O . She heard him leave for only a second and then come back. He snagged her by the top of her arm and pushed her towards the window. When they reached the window; He pushed his duffle bag with Olivia's sheets draped over it around to his back. And forced the window open then he pushed her towards the window. Her free arm came up and her hand grabbed the window grasping for anything the might keep him from forcing her out.

It was useless as she clung and clawed and struggled to get away from him she felt him shift his hands. He push her harder one hand on the back of her head and the other on her arm. She felt the cool early morning breeze of May against the exposed skin on her chest. The slit down the front allowed the wind in and it billow her shirt. The air rushed against the stinging burns on her chest.

Lewis shoved his knee into the back of her leg forcing her feet to bump into the wall.

"Step out Detective. Don't tempt me or I will throw you out."

Olivia's mind raced. The thought of allowing Lewis to forcible remove her from her own home sickened her. Especially after she thought she had made an effort to call for help; hopefully one that had been heard. But on the flip side she did not want to be thrown through the window she was barley standing as it was. She knew that she would not have the balance to keep herself from possible falling off the fire escape or rolling down the stairs and possible hitting her head again.

She raised one foot up and out the window then the other. She felt Lewis move his hands again. One slinked down her hair and grabbed her free arm and the other forced the arm he had control of closer to the other. The sound that followed made her stomach drop. A metallic clink and then multiple clicks. Her handcuffs crushing the already soar and bruised wrists. He held one arm and pushed her forward slightly and she shuffled as slightly as she could to keep herself steady and on the fire escape. Next she felt his body pressed up against her and his arm snaking around her waist pulling her close. His other hand raised to her head pulling the pillow case up so that it remained slightly on top of her head but it exposed her face.

He leaned his head down and close to her ear, kissing it gently. Then he placed a wet sloppy kiss on her cheek.

" see, that wasn't so hard. Your good at fallowing directions darlin'. All that training right?"

Olivia felt sick. Her stomach rolled and betrayed her. She had too much alcohol in her system and the distrusting freak touching her was making things worse. She leaned slightly forward unintentionally brushing her cuffed hands directly into contact with his crotch. She felt his penis move and that was the last straw. Sour vomit forced its way out of her mouth. Her body revolted again and a second wave of vodka flavored stomach acid spewed out of her.

Olivia was disappointed to see that none of the pills had come up. They had already dissolved and she would be feeling there full force here momentarily. She stood up strait and instantly felt the pillow case flop back over her face. Her heart rate became erratic. Then she felt one hand on her arms pushing her in the direction of the steps and the other hand clearly now holding her gun which was fixed in one place directly in the middle of her back.

She slowly moved forward one step at a time. She began to sway. She was going to lose conciseness before she even made it to the ground.

The next thing she knew she was waking up in the trunk of a car. Twisting and turning. She felt smothered by her sheets which had apparently been piled on top of her. Her mouth was duct taped and her hands remained cuffed behind her back and she laid on her stomach. She was thankful despite the sheets on top of her the pillow case had been removed from her head.

Her entire body hurt. Her wrists hurt and every move trying or not pulled at her restraints which had begun to cut into her. And the rough carpet of the trunk rubbed and scraped at the exposed burns on her chest. They were boiling hot again as if they had just happened a moment ago.

She kept trying to hold her head up. The car was in motion and she listened intently hoping she would hear anything that would tell her where she might be. The car hit a pothole and bump cause a whole new rush of pain to radiate through her body. She lowered her head. The chain of her necklace caught around her chin. Her mind fired up a new idea. Who knows who the last person she called had been. Hopefully one of her coworkers at precinct. But she didn't know if they had answered or if they had understood. But she could start leaving some markers of where she had been. Evidence that could lead them to where ever it was she ended up. She bucked her head up with all of her strength breaking the chain and sending the necklace flying to the corner of the trunk.

She held her head up again. The car had slowed. It was still running. It then took off again. Moments later it bounced this time slamming her head into the lid of the trunk. She ducked her head again. But it was too late. Her head was spinning and she was seeing spots. The already dark vision of the trunk space became even darker. Her head rested on the floor of the trunk as she again passed out.

**Alright so there you have it chapter five. Hopefully have chapter six done tomorrow. Hope you enjoyed please review. Next chapter we will see what was happening with everyone else during those two day before they realized she was missing.**


	6. Chapter 6

**So Chapter 6 is going to be a little different. But please bear with me. This looks at what Nick, Don, Fin, Amanda, and Rafael did after the case was dismissed; As well as the feelings and thoughts that they had regarding the case and one another. Olivia wasn't the only one that took the case hard. She wasn't the only one having a hard time. This also looks at how emotional the group was prior to the discovery that Olivia was missing. Only adding to the anger, fear and worry of the discovery.**

Fin POV-

"Go home. Stay there two days." Cregan told Oliva in a low warring tone.

I looked up from my desk hearing Cregans orders. My face dropped to look at Olivia. So many emotions flashed across her face; annoyance, frustration, just a flicker of sadness. Olivia devoted herself to every case 110%. And when they didn't win, when the bad guy won, it crushed her. Every time! I had seen it over and over.

I watched as she lowered her head. The look was defeat. She knew she couldn't stay there the captain would have here ass for it. I stood up from my desk. Today had been to long for all of us and it was time for us all to get out of here. I looked forward. Amanda stood a moment later. Her head was down as she shuffled some papers in to a file and closed it. She shook her head and her lose blond hair fell over her shoulders. She looked up to Fin.

"You wanna get a drink?" I asked her.

She sucked on her lip a moment and just nodded. He could see the circles under her eyes. She hadn't been sleeping. None of them had. This was a bad case start to finish. And now that this freak was out they all had the daunting feeling it wouldn't be there last encounter.

Amanda POV-

"Nick, Munch, Liv? Drinks?" I asked quietly.

Nick stood. Straightened his back and tossed his pen back on his desk.

"Yeah. I could go for a drink."

"Liv?" Nick asked slightly louder.

I looked over at her. She had her head down still looking at Lewis's case file.

She tilted here head to the side biting her lip. She looked at each of her co-worker briefly and then stood from her desk.

"No. Not tonight. Brian's going to coming over." Her words were clear but flat.

I could tell she was hurting. She was crushed by this case. It was good she had Brian. The rest of us would go home to empty apartments. Lie in bed and let this case roll over in our heads. Review what they could have changed.

I knew I would forever regret bring everyone in. I was right to do so, but that momentary triumph was quickly washed away. The pain that it has caused poor and the grief and disappointment of her coworkers wasn't worth being right. Every moment since they had all meet William Lewis an uphill battle. Goodbye and Good Riddance as far as I was concerned.

Nick POV-

I worried about Olivia. I worried about Amanda, Fin, And Munch as well, But she was my partner. I needed to have her back. Whatever that needed to mean. Watching her back literally in the face of danger or in times like these where I felt I needed to save Olivia from herself. Save her from her own thoughts.

I am glad that the rest of us would be going to have a drink. I needed one or two to dull the horror that we had seen in this case. My own thoughts clouded with images of Miss. Parker, and all the case files they had looked over of his previous crimes. I couldn't imagine the fear those women went through while in his hands. Maybe it was for the best had passed away. She would not have to live with the physical reminders of the Torture. She wouldn't have to live with the flashbacks or the mental trauma. She was happy. I will pray for her.

"Come on Liv. You can at least walk out with us." I said praying she would leave with us. She needed to go home. I was positive she hadn't gone home since we caught this case. She needed a real meal a drink and some time with Brian. I still didn't care much for him but he seams to make Olivia Happy. That's all I really wanted for her.

"Yeah alright just give me a minute. Got to run up to the lockers and grab a few things." Olivia said over her shoulder as she walked away.

I watch her for a moment. She was so beautiful. I often wondered if she knew. She was a rare thing to see a truly beautiful person inside and out. I knew about the pain she had faced in the past and I knew it knocked her down in her own mind. But her strength to move forward from those troubles the ones she had shared with me and the ones she hadn't made her that much more beautiful.

I turned my attention back to Amanda Munch and Fin. They were talking and I quickly put my jacket on checked my phone before dropping it into my pocket and joining then.

"Well I'm ready for a drink." I said not try to butt in to their conversation but more hoping that they would wrap it up so we could leave.

"Yeah." Amanda agreed flashing a tiered but well-meaning smile at him.

"Alright let's go." Olivia said joining them.

Cragens POV-

I Stood in my office watching my detectives gather their belongings and having light conversation. I was glad to see they were leaving together. They needed each other. I had seen over the years that when one was gone it had damaged the whole group. It crippled them in a way. Sometimes it was only a break. Someone on vacation or working a case with another agency. Some were worse breaks. When Olivia had left to Oregon it had hurt the group. Throwing some other detective in the group had been nothing but salt in the wound.

When Elliot had left for good I wondered if things would ever be the same again. I had felt like a father to Elliot and Olivia. I watched over them. And it had hurt Olivia deeply when he had left. Things were rough. But Amanda and Nick even with their flaws had been what the group needed.

I worried about them all. I knew John had been bouncing the idea of retirement around and I hoped he could be talked out of it, at least for a while. He was such a key member here that his loss would hurt. Now that they had once again become a unified force I would hate to see it break again. With all that in mind though I knew that Munch had been at this the longest and that it was probably starting to cause him issues. He would rather watch Munch retire then get the phone call that Munch had eaten his gun after a hard case.

Amanda seemed to take this case hard. I had considered sending her home for the next two days as well. She seemed to be holding guilt about bringing this guy in. Exposing him to everyone. She had done her job. She had gone be above a beyond. But I avoided sending Amanda home or giving her mandatory time off as often as I could. Her addiction worried me. Time was not her friend. But where there is a will there is a way. I was well aware of that in myself. If I wanted a drink I had all the time in the world to do so. Work wouldn't stop me. And I knew that it wouldn't stop her. I only hoped that she would come to me or one of her coworkers if she were having a problem.

Nick and Fin seemed to be the most stable of the group after this case. Fin always seemed to have his emotions in checked. And I wondered often if he just bottled it up and one day it would all come to the surface, or if he had found a way to deal with the horrors that they saw every day. Therapist, bar tender or other confidant. Maybe he hit the gym or took yoga. The thought of Fin in a Yoga pose. I'll have to keep that in mind for a chuckle another time.

Nick had his family problems. But he seemed to have been dealing with that mostly outside of work. His anger had also seemingly been tamed at the moment. I hope he would come to me with problems. I would be more them willing to give him extra time off. All he would have to do would be to ask.

Olivia was a whole different Story. She held her walls up well. But she always had one window open; those dark chocolate eyes. They spoke volumes. Pain, love, hope, disappointment, joy, fear, anger all off it. The look on her face was determination as I told her to take the time off. But as she rose her head and I saw her eyes. I knew I made the right call.

I turned away from the window as the detectives left. Sat down at my chair. The worry was drilling a whole in my stomach. I opened the bottom drawer of my desk. Sitting there a bottle of whiskey I kept for my detectives just in case. I could really use a drink. Sitting next to the bottle a picture of Marge. Her smile brought a quick sad smile to my face and I close the draw. I stood from my desk and followed my detective's actions and headed home.

Munch POV-

I walked with Nick, Amanda and Fin. Olivia had declined our invitation and had headed off in the opposite direction towards her apartment. She'd said something about some fresh air and said goodnight and that she would see us in a couple of days.

We made light conversation about anything but this case and work in general. Fin talked about how ken was doing, Amanda talked about Franny, Nick talked about Zara and I listened. This case had taken a lot out of me. Each case lately had taken a little more. And I cherished the Sargent position. More of my days were spent looking over case files and fighting with computers then chasing perps and yelling at suspects in the box.

I missed the chase a little but as the days went by I missed it less and less. One of these cases would be my last and the slow transition was better than the force casting me out in what I'm sure I would have seen as my prime.

I saw more and more of what the captain saw on a daily basis. His team going out every day and not knowing if they would come back to the squad room safely. Ever since the shooting that had caused Elliot to leave Cregan never even seemed comfortable in our own squad room.

I promised myself to do whatever I could do to keep the people that meant the most to me safe. Fin, Olivia, Nick, Amanda, Cregan. That was my family, and he would keep them safe.

I shook my head of my own thoughts as we stepped into the bar. We ordered our drinks and took our place at our usual booth.

Smiles crossed everyone's faces as the first of what was surely to be a long night of drinks arrived. Everyone took a sip and Fin Cracked a joke about one of my early day conspires. We smiled and drank and enjoyed being together away from work. Away from our own thoughts.

Rafael POV-

I stood in my office. Jacket off, sleeves rolled up a glass of scotch in one hand and Lewis's case file in the other. I slowly passed back and forth. I know there must be something in here. We had to get this guy. This monster couldn't get away with this. I hadn't wanted to take this case in the first place. But once it had landed in my lap I couldn't let it go.

Just then my ears pricked at the sound of my phone ringing. It was late. Not so late that no one would call but given the day; unless a new case had come up I knew who was calling.

Sure enough Olivia's name and Picture was flashing on the screen. I took a deep breath. And for the first time today allowed a smile to grace my lips.

" Hello" I said into the phone.

" Hey" She replied with a short sigh.

" What can I help you with Detective?" I inquired. I pondered if I should have called her that. Surely after a day like today, Olivia would have been more comforting then Detective. But my professionalism was getting in the way of reaching out as a friend.

"I was just wondering if you had found anything in Lewis's case file yet? Cregan gave me two days off so I'm probably going to spend them looking over it. Just wanted to know if you had any idea's where to start my searching." Her voice rang through the phone. It was sad and tiered.

I had spent almost every minute since the mistrial verdict looking for exactly what she was asking for but I hadn't found it. I felt bad telling her that. Worringit would just break her down farther.

"No." I answered honestly and bluntly. Our relationship worked best on honesty.

I heard a long sigh on the other end of the line.

"yeah. Well hopefully will find something. I can't stand the thought of this guy just out there. Free to rape and torture any woman unfortunate enough to cross paths with him." She said with a determined yet slightly defeated tone.

She was right. This one couldn't get away. He was too dangerous to just let go.

"I Know" I said reassuringly.

She didn't sound like she was doing very well. She was too close to this one. She wanted it to bad. They shared that quality. He didn't want her to hurt herself over it though. He didn't want her to worry about this case on her days off. He missed her smile and it would not be seen if she was lost in thought over this psychopath.

"Hey, maybe you should just relax for the next couple of days. We will get coffee the next day you work and talk it over in my office. See if two heads really is better than one?" I spoke lightly. Hoping she would take the advice and relax on her day's off.

"Yeah, Your probably right. I'll give you a call in a couple off days and will work on it together." She sounded slightly relieved that she wasn't the only one that was stressing over this case.

"Alright Detective, I'll talk to you in a couple of days. Have a nice night Olivia." I spoke softly

I suddenly realizing that I had slipped from formal and tough councilor to soft Rafael Barba . Oh well I thought to myself.

"Take care of yourself Barba. Good night." Her sweet voice floated straight through me. And Once again I found myself smiling.

We hung up and I returned to my pacing.

I had never met someone like Olivia. She was strong, brave, caring, determined, loving, compassionate, and dedicated. Yet regardless of these traits and her status as detective and mine as an ADA I always felt comfortable with her from day one. We were equals, in her eyes and in mine. It was such a feeling of belonging that I had never felt before. Their relationship had quickly grown from coworkers to friends.

I hoped I wouldn't hear from her for the next couple of days. She needed time to come to terms with this case and its outcome.

I returned to my desk for a new page of the file and to fill my glass with more scotch. I would work on this as long as it took. For the victims that had not gotten justice, for myself, for the squad, for Olivia.

**So there you have it. I've already started on the next chapter. And will have it up soon. Please review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author Note: Okay so I've started writing this chapter like five times and my computer keeps shutting down and saying it has saved my story and I warm the old girl back up and no file. So that's what's going on with the delay's also thank you for the Reviews Please keep it up.**

**Story Heads up: So after bouncing the idea of having a chapter about What took place in the Mayer's home I finally come to the conclusion that I will make references and maybe some flash backs but I'm not going to write out every detail of what happened there. The story will now continue back with the squad in the squad room after returning from the Mayer's home. And I will continue this story with more of a bouncing back and forth between the squad and Olivia more like the show. Events are now parallel and occurring in time with one another. The story will become more linear instead of bouncing between current and past event.**

**Disclaimer: Characters all belong to Dick wolf. Story is mine.**

**Enjoy and Review.**

**Chapter 7**

The Squad as well as Brian and Elliot returned to the squad room. They gathered around the board.

" What did you find at the Mayer's." Brian asked fearing what the answer might be.

Elliot and Brian waited patiently for one of the others to respond. Each of them seemed to have to brace themselves to some degree before proceeding with what they had discovered.

"Mr. Mayer was dead when we arrived. He had been beaten to death." Nick relayed looking down.

" We discovered Mrs. Mayer hanging from her wrists in the closet. She was alive but slipping into shock. A bus rushed her to the hospital. We won't know her condition for a while." Amanda said casting glances at Nick.

"What about Liv?" Elliot asked.

Everyone looked at Cregan to lead this case. They were at a loss without Olivia.

"Mrs. Mayer wasn't able to shed much light on that. She was hardly holding on when we arrived. It looks like he killed Mr. Mayer and then held Mrs. Mayer and Olivia in the bedroom. Evidence is still being collected; will know more when it comes back." Cregan said. His brow furrowed. Worry stretched across his face.

" So we have nothing. We know what he's driving, where he's been, his MO. Yet we still have no idea where he is or if Olivia is even still alive." Brian Said as his voice cracked.

He started to move away from the group. He needed to get himself together.

" We do know that Lewis transported her in the trunk. We found her necklace hidden by the spare tire. She was alive at that point. We can't give up on her. She's leaving us a trail." Fin Relayed trying to bring some sliver of hope back to the group.

Just then the doors to the squad room flew open and a frantic and disheveled Barba stormed in. As he got closer to the group it was obvious he had been crying and his eyes were red. He was dressed in casual clothing; a pair of jeans and a sweater. But his hair was messy and it didn't seem that he had shaved in a couple of days.

"Is it true?" He choked out as he reached the group.

He looked around at the faces the people he worked with. One face didn't belong, but that was not a fact he needed to focus on right now. Everyone made eye contact with them their faces all answered his question. He felt his heart break.

"I have something you need to hear." He said sucking in a deep breath and steading his nerves.

Barba pulled his phone from his pocket and taped a few buttons. Then before continuing he looked back at the group.

"I was out of the city the last couple of day's clearing my head. Reviewing the case. I didn't have cell reception until I reentered the city an hour ago on my way home. I immediately got several texts from coworkers at the court house asking if I had seen the news. I hadn't so I stopped pulled over and got online. I saw the report." He took a deep and shakey breath watching as everyone waited for him to get to the point.

"I noticed I had a few missed calls. One from the DA and One from the Captain. Both from this Morning. But I also saw that Olivia had called me yesterday… she left me a voicemail. "He took another deep breath appearing to hold it as he pressed play.

They all stared at the phone intently and listened. At first it just sounded like shuffling. Then there was grunts and what sounded like someone being hit. Then there were loud thumps. Someone running. Two sets of feet. Olivia had gotten away from Lewis and he was chasing her. Then there was only silence for a moment. There were several low thuds and what sounded like things being knocked over.

Then a loud smack and a few small cry off in the distance.

Elliot's jaw began to tense. Brian had a few tears caught in the corners of his eyes. Amanda stood with her arms wrapped around her. Waiting for the next sound.

'Keep your eyes open Bitch' they heard Lewis yell. The phone was too far away from them at this point to tell what else was happening but they could hear them talk.

' you hear me?'

'Yes' the weak voice barely made it to the recording. It was so faint and weak it was almost missed.

'You're going to behave or I will start shooting you with your own gun. You got that?' Lewis barked again.

At this point the recording ended the voicemail had ended the call.

They all stood there like the air had sucked out of the room. She had called for help. She had reached out and no one had come. They stood there in shock.

"I tried calling her back the minute I got it." Barba said quietly.

"We have her phone. It was recovered at the halfway house Lewis had been staying at." Nick said flatly and not thinking. Speaking but not ever realizing it. His ears were ringing. Replaying what he had heard on the voicemail in his head

Brian tilted his head. Thinking about what they had heard.

"Why did she call you?" Brian said sharply. He moved closer to Barba.

Barba shook his head and kept eye contact with Brian.

"I…I don't know." Barba said quietly

Barba took a sharp breath and lowered his head. If only he had gotten the call when she had made it. if only they had put this guy away in the first place.

" Hm? Why? Why wouldn't she have called me when she was in trouble? Why wouldn't she call her Partner or the Captain?Why wouldn't see have called the precinct? Hell why didn't she call Elliot? Why YOU?" Brian was yelling at this point.

Elliot blood was boiling. His Olivia would have called him. But she wasn't his. She never really was. Not the way that she was Brian's. But there had been a time when he would have been her first call.

Elliot looked at the short disheveled man. He wasn't familiar to him. But If Olivia had made her call for help to him. Elliot knew there was a reason. And without knowing a thing about the man he trusted him more than the other new faces he had meet today.

Brian moved closer now almost touching him. His rage was boiling over. Everyone watch this display. Cregan finally stepped in.

"That's enough." He said holding his hand's up.

Brian stepped back.

"I need some air." Brian looked at his phone as he walked out the doors.

"You guys keep combing through this." Cregan said motioning towards the Squad.

"Elliot, Barba my office." Without missing a beat everyone did as they were told.

********SVU*****SVU*****SVU*****SVU****

Olivia sat handcuffed to the door of a car. Her head was spinning. And she was desperate for water. Lewis had pulled into a parking lot told her to be quiet and gotten out of the car. The windows were darkly tinted but she could see that they were at a small store. Somewhere outside of the city. Tree's back-dropped everything in her sight. It was midday but there was no one else around.

She pulled hard against the cuffs. He prayed silently to herself that she could slip out of them. But it was futile. She felt around the door. And realized she could get ahold of the handle. She tugged on it and to her surprise it came open. With her back to the door she started to get pulled out of the car as the door opened. She slipped out; falling onto her butt in the dirty parking lot. Her arms jerking almost out of the sockets as her cuffed hands remained attached to the door. And now left her in an extremely awkward and uncomfortable position with her arms restrained not only behind her back but also now above her head.

Her mouth was covered with tape and she had no hope of yelling for help. She looked for anyone. She knew Lewis would be back any moment and she had to get the hell out of there. She looked at the road. No one passed. She looked up and spotted a security camera attached to a light pool. She looked up at it pleadingly. Hopefully it worked. Suddenly she heard another car she twisted and turned. Then she saw it a small car pulled around from the other side of the door. A woman looked down from the window.

Shock crossed the woman's face as she dove out of the passenger side door towards Olivia.

"Oh my God." She stuttered as she knelt down next to a panicking Olivia.

The woman turned her head back to the open door of her own car

"Frank call 911 Now!" she yelled.

She turned her attention back to Olivia.

"Hold on honey help is coming." The woman said softly

"I'm going to remove the tape okay?" The woman said.

Olivia nodded. And the woman peeled the tape away.

"Please. Please help me." Olivia said franticly

"He's going to come back. He has a gun. Please." Olivia said in one breath.

If it was possible the woman's eyes grew larger. And once again she turned to the car.

"Frank, are the Police coming?"

The man from the car walked around the other side and stood in front of the woman and Olivia.

"Yes there on their way. " He said to the woman

He still held the phone to his ear.

"My…My name is Olivia Benson I'm a Detective with the NYPD." Olivia choked out.

The Woman and Franks eyes met and Frank relayed the message to the 911 operator.

"They're transferring me." Frank said still holding the phone.

The woman stood and grabbed a bottle of water from her car and knelt back down next to Olivia.

" Hold your head up, you need water."

Olivia agreed and sucked the bottle down. She let out a long breath, as the woman took the bottle and set it on the ground in front of her.

"Thank you." Olivia said lowering her head.

"Please. We need to get away. He's going to come back he'll kill me." Olivia said.

"It'll be okay." The Woman didn't understand the situation.

Just then they heard Frank being to talk again.

" Yes, I Found a woman. She says her name is Olivia Benson…"

"Yes, my wife and I found her."

"We are at a hardware store just outside of the city…"

A couple of low popping noises came from the store they were in front of.

" Please hurry. I think the man is in the store and may have just shot someone. " Frank half yelled into the phone

Just then a sharp bang split the air. Olivia began to scream. Lewis rounded the corner as frank collapsed. A large pool of blood formed around him.

Lewis raised his gun aiming it at the woman. Another Shot rang out and blood splattered all over Olivia. She sat there screaming while this woman's body slumped forward onto Olivia.

Lewis walked closer. Holding the Gun at Olivia. She stopped her screaming and began to pull and twist anything she could do to get away from him. But like a animal caught in a trap she just continued to panic and flail. But mad no real headway to escape.

"Little bitch. I told you to be quite. "He yelled.

He kept the gun aimed at Olivia and pushed the woman off of her.

"Look what you did Olivia. You killed these people because you couldn't stay quiet." He said slightly leaned over her.

Lewis stood up straight. And kicked her hard right in the ribs. Olivia couldn't breathe as he kicked her again. He walked closer to her and punched her in the side of the face. Olivia cried out when she could finally breath again.

" Please. Please stop." She begged.

Lewis Pistol wiped her in the head and her world went black.

He Forced her back in the car and quickly drove away just as sirens could be heard in the distance.

He drove down the road toward the woods.

*****SVU*****SVU****SVU****SVU***SVU***

Cregan rounded his desk and sat down. He looked as if in the last week he had aged ten years.

"Councilor this is Elliot Stabler Olivia's former partner." Barba turned to the man and extended his hand.

" Rafael Barba, ADA for SVU." Barba said, Elliot took his hand and shook it.

They turned there attention back to Cregan.

"What do we know?" Barba Asked. A lump forming in his throat.

Cregan lowered his head to the reports from the lab sitting on his desk.

"We know that she was hurt, and bleeding when they left her apartment. We know her bed was found keys in the kitchen that were used to burn her. We found her hair and blood all of the apartment. We also found traces of semen on the floor in the living room.

We learned from Councilor Mayer that He was on long island yesterday. We went there and found her parents. Father dead and her mother had been brutalized. Olivia was transported in the trunk of the car. Her bedding was found in the trunk as well as her necklace."

Elliot and Barba stood there processing all of the information.

Elliot's hand's balled into fists. He want this bastard dead. He wanted to watch the lights go out in his eyes.

Barba felt like he was being crushed. He couldn't breathe. This had been his fault. He should have put Lewis away when they had him in custody. She should never be back on the street.

Just then Amanda came flying through the door.

"They found her." She said in a hurried breath.

Everyone froze for a moment.

"Shes alive. A couple found her at a Hardware store." She relayed the information she had received from the uni that had gotten the call.

Just then there was shouting cross the squad room.

Everyone in Cregan's office rushed out.

The Squad room was quite again. And the 911 call was on speaker. They Heard a shot ring out. then another. Then the phone went dead.

" I want everyone at that hardware store. Now!" Cregan yelled across the room. Everyone went running.

Elliot and Barba both started to head that way. Cregan spun around to face them both.

"Stay here." Cregan ordered

"Captain" Elliot protested

"No. You're not a cop anymore."

"And you're not a cop at all stay here"

"Captain your right we aren't cops and we don't answer to you" Barba spat.

Barba had no tolerance for being told what he was and was not going to do. His friend was in trouble and he would not stand idly by.

Cregan was taken back by the sharp tonged lawyer. Cregan knew he was a shark in the courtroom but he had never seen the man act anything but professional.

"Fine but you both stay out of the way." Cregan barked and the three men all raced out of the Squad room as quickly as they could.

The Drive to the hardware store was probably only ten minutes but the drive seemed to go on forever. Nick white knuckled the steering wheel the whole way there. He was driving twenty over the speed limit the whole way there. Amanda sat next to him just as focused on the road.

Fin and Munch followed in the car behind them. Cregan followed close behind them followed by four patrol cars and one Jeep carrying Elliot and Barba.

All nine cars bailed into the parking lot forming a half circle around the seen before them. Everyone jumped from their cars and walked towards the bodies.

Cregan immediately took charge.

"Tape off the scene" he said pointing to two uniformed cops.

"Go up this road and start looking we can't be more than ten minutes behind them" he pointed to four of the uniformed cops.

"you two go inside and check the store" he said motioning to the last to uni's

"Fin, Munch go inside and back up the uni's, and see if there is surveillance."

"Go."

Everyone took off following the captain's order's. Meanwhile Cregan, Nick, Amanda, Elliot and Barba walked towards the still running car and the two bodies lying in the parking lot.

Nick walked over to the man slipping on a white glove. He knelt down avoiding the blood and looked at the man crumpled on his side with his phone crushed just passed his right hand. He was in his early thirties. Sandy colored hair matted with blood. A hole in the side of his head. Nick reached into the mans pocket and retrieved his wallet.

"Frank Jones." He said to group.

"He's the one that made the call" Amanda said back.

Amanda stepped towards the woman. She had a bullet hole right in the middle of her forehead and was lying on her back, arms slayed out next to her. In front of her an empty water bottle with no cap.

Cregan watched his people as he called for crime scene techs and Melinda.

They had missed them again.

"Captain!" Fin called from the door of the store.

They all turned their attention to him.

"You need to see this." Fin said to them.

Everyone looked at one another unsure if they could handle whatever it was that Fin had found.

"Guard our crime scene til the tech's get here." Cregan ordered to the uniformed officer's tape off the scene.

The five of them walked away from the horror show of the parking lot to a whole new horror show happening inside the store.

One man with multiple gunshot wounds to his chest lay behind the counter. Blood was splattered all over the wall behind him. Another man lay face down just inside the door. Shot once in the back.

" Over here." Fin called from another door way just passed the counter.

They all followed careful not to disturb the scene.

When they got to the door they saw munch sitting at a computer hair in front of a TV. Munched clicked the play button and they all watched in horror as Olivia tumbled out of the back door of a car. She was covered in shirt was cut down the front and her mouth was duct taped. Her hands were held at an unnatural position by the cuffs. Her eye's looked right into the camera. Looking right at them. Begging for someone to come and help her.

A moment later the couple that now lay dead in the parking lot pulled up and the scene unfolded infront of them the woman trying to help. The man calling for help and then them both being shot. Lewis walked into view of the camera. His back was to the camera but Olivia's face was in full view. Her eyes were full of terror. She was screaming. Then he kicked her twice. Leaned over. as if talking to her punched her. Then he hit her in the head with something and shoved her back into the car.

They were all horrified by the scene they were watching their coworker and friend needed them now.

Elliot couldn't stand it. He shouldn't have come. This was torture. They knew what was happening to her. What had happened to her. And she remained just out of their reach. He turned and walked out of the store after seeing the direction the car had left in.

Barba followed close behind him.

"Where are you going?" Barba called after him

"Going to get my partner" He said over his shoulder.

Barba kept pace and got back into Elliot's jeep.

"Where do you think you're going?" Elliot said eye balling the man.

"I'm going with you. I know why she called me. And I know it's my fault that she's in this situation. I need to help. I can't do that from the court house."

"Elliot!" He heard the Captain call as he walk toward him.

Elliot turned back to Barba and started the Jeep.

"Fine. But only because your already in my car and I will not let the Captain stop me." Elliot said throwing the car in reverse and pulling out of the parking lot.

They drove in the direction the Uni's had headed off in and the direction Olivia and Lewis had last been seen driving in.

**Alright so kind of a long and intense chapter. Hope you all liked it. more to come. Thank you for reading please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I am so so Sorry about the wait on the next chapter. I had the idea for my 'Angel' story since before I even started this story but I wasn't sure how I wanted to do it. So when I woke up with the idea in my head I had to write it. Mostly I just didn't want the ideas I had for that story to get sucked up into this story. I love Barson. Although 'Angel' was a really sad Barson story and I will be righting another…lets be honest I will probably write several. But this story is going to be" ship" free. Friendship yes. I started the writing this story with her and Brian together. This will not be a Bensidy story. I do like Bensidy, as well as E/O, F/O, Bensaro, ect… But I feel like Olivia and the Squad went through hell and a relationship would be built on an uneven foundation( similar to Bensidy in the show. He had problem she helped him out. She went through her ordeal with Lewis. But they never really talked about either of their problems. " **_**I'm tiered. Yeah we're tiered." **_

**So moving past this rambling. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy and Review.**

**Disclaimer- Dick Wolf owns characters. Just barrowing them. :)**

**Chapter: 8**

Elliot drove at light speed farther down the road. They were going into fairly deep woods at this point. Elliot and Barba both kept their eyes forward. Keeping an eye out for any sign of Lewis, Olivia, or the squad car that Cregan had sent this direction.

A painful aching was growing in Barba's stomach. Seeing the security footage of Lewis abusing Olivia was enough to want to kill Lewis with his bare hands. Barba was not a violent man. He had learned long ago his biggest weapon was his mouth. That wasn't enough now though. He had tried hard to put Lewis away. He had failed. This was the result. He felt sick, and angary. He wasn't sure which was worse.

Elliot too was feeling the urge to kill Lewis. And he absolutely would when he caught the son of a bitch. Elliot let out a deep sigh. He was way too worked up and he needed his mind to be clear.

"Why did Liv call you?" Elliot asked. He needed to calm down and talking might do that. At the very least it would focus him.

Barba swallowed the lump in his throat and turned his head to look at Elliot. Barba could see the pain and anger on Elliot. All of his muscles were tensed and his jaw was clinched.

"I was the last on she talked to. She called me on her way home that night." Barba said his voice slightly wobbly.

"She must have just hit redial." Barba sighed.

He regretted leaving town. He should have been there when she called. She had given him a second chance. He had failed in court and Lewis had been free to break into her apartment. Her call had been a chance to stop it from going any further. He had let her down.

"Does she trust you?" Elliot asked an undertone of defensiveness in his voice.

Barba wasn't sure. They had become friends over this last year. At least he had thought so.

" I don't know. I'd like to think so, but I've let her down a lot this week." Barba whispered.

"You can't think about it that way. You haven't let her down. You did your job…Olivia and I gave each other that speech a lot…when we felt like there was more we could have done. You're doing the best you can. Olivia forgives…Even when we don't deserve it." Elliot's words were choppy. He was deep in thought; But also doing his best to reassure the man next to him.

"Your right." Barba said with a short sigh.

As they continued to dive they began to see road work sighs and slowed. As they come over a rise in the road they realized they may have just caught their first break. The road was completely blocked off and the squad car was sitting in front of the construction barricade.

Elliot pulled up in front of the squad car and threw the car into park and bailed out. Barba was quick to follow. As they walked towards the car the two uniformed officers got out and meet them.

"Road's been barricade for about two weeks." Officer Marks said. Motioning towards it.

"There's only one road off of this main one between here and the hard ware store. It leads to some hunting cabins in the woods." Officer Brown relayed.

Elliot nodded. They had him cornered. He didn't have anywhere to go.

"Did you call this in?" Elliot asked quickly. They needed to get a search team up here now. The four of them wouldn't be enough to cover anything.

Officer Marks nodded.

"Yes sir. Just as we come over the rise and saw it. The road is just this side of it. You can see it from here." Marks pointed up the road.

As they looked up at the point they saw the other cars coming towards them.

When everyone was out of their cars they made their game plan.

More help was on its way. They had pulled everyone in to help with a grid search. The woods would be dark soon and they had a lot of ground to cover.

Everyone got back in their cars and headed into the woods on the road. It forked off several times. Each road lead to a cabin and as they passed the roads cars would split off from the group. Each instructed to search the grounds and any structures on the properties.

Barba's ears were ringing not only with the intense situation but also with the sound of future lawsuits to pursue for searching the properties without warrants. That thought was only brief. They needed to find Olivia.

Other's had joined the parade of cars and continued to branch off and help the others search the properties. Cassidy had also been called and informed that they had a solid lead and that they were in pursuit.

The road twisted and turned and Forked onto other roads but they had looked at maps the main road was the only way out of this maze.

The sun was getting low in the sky. And Elliot's stomach was in knots. It had been four days since Olivia had been taken. The team had been awake for two day's solid looking for her. They needed to find her soon.

Elliot and Barba followed Amanda and Nick onto a different road. Splitting away from the group. As they rolled up to a cabin. His heart started to pound. The car that Lewis had been driving was parked out front.

Elliot reached under his seat and pulled out a gun. He motioned to the glove box. Barba quickly opened in and laying inside was another gun. Barba shot Elliot a intense and confused look. But did not hesitate to pull it out. They nodded to one another and climbed out of the jeep and gave Amanda and Nick a reassuring nod. Showing that they were prepared to back them up.

**Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you're thinking. Comments, Questions, and Suggestions always welcome! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter:9**

**Disclaimer: All the people belong to Dick wolf. **

**Warning: Chapter contains graphic descriptions of rape.**

**Trigger warning: This chapter is pretty heavy. Descriptions of rape. As well as suicide thoughts. please read with caution. **

Olivia only remained passed out for a few moments. When the car took a sharp turn on to a rocky dirt road the shaking car woke her. Her eyes flashed open. She laid there in the back seat of the car looking up. Her arms painfully still attached to the door. The late afternoon sun shown threw the window. It was broken by the trees as they passed. It created an almost strobe like effect. Olivia began to feel dizzy watching it and looked down at her body.

Every part of Olivia ached. She was covered in blood both wet and dried, Sweat, Vodka, dried semen. She was dehydrated and starving. All of that was pushed to the back of her brain as Lewis pulled off of the dirt road that they had been driving on and got out of the car.

Lewis pulled the back door open and pulled hard on her arms. Her wrists made cracking sounds. The bones were surly broken. He un-cuffed one hand. Only long enough to pull her away from the car then he re-cuffed her tightly. Slamming the car door and grabbed a hand full of her hair and dragged her into the woods.

Olivia heart was pounding. She pulled and twisted. She couldn't get away from him. She glanced up briefly and saw that the car that they were now walking away from was parked in front of a dirty little hunting cabin.

"Where are you taking me?" She begged.

Lewis laughed slightly.

"Well you had to put on a show so we are dumping the car and going for a hike." Lewis snarled.

Olivia pulled at her cuffed hands. There was no way she was going to get them off without a key. He had them pushed down to the last possible notch. They cut her wrists as well as mashed the already broken bones.

After what felt like hours of aimless walking in the woods she felt Lewis release her hair.

Then felt the gun to the back of her head. And His other hand on her cuffed wrists.

She looked up and realized they had walked to another cabin. He pushed her until they stood at the front door.

Lewis removed the gun from her head and tucked it back into his waistband. Then he reached for the door knob. Olivia immediately began to pull trying to get lose from his grip.

It was a futile effort. Between the obvious size difference between the two of them, and the fact that Olivia was injured drunk and drugged she stood no chance to escape.

He shoved her hard into the now open door. She tumbled into the empty cabin. Unable to break her fall with her hands behind her back. She fell face first on to the floor. Lewis laughed as he stepped around her and closed the door.

Lewis reached down hoisting her up by her arm. Olivia cried out in agony

"Please stop" Olivia screamed.

"Scream all you want. No one is going to here you out here." He said with another cruel laugh.

He dragged her to one of the rooms. It was nearly empty. A Bed was in the middle and a small dressed set on the far side of the room.

Lewis threw Olivia onto the bed. She bounced slightly as she landed. She tried to sit up. Lewis grabbed her cuffed wrists. Unlocking one looping it around the headboard and then re- locking it around her wrist.

"Please don't! Please stop!" Olivia screamed

Lewis flashed her a twisted smile.

"You need a drink. Loosin' you up a little." He said tossing his bag on the floor and retrieving yet another bottle of Vodka.

Olivia's face twisted as he forced her mouth open dropping more pills in and then shoving the bottle into her mouth.

Olivia shook. She couldn't remember how much vodka she had already endured. How many pills he had pushed down her throat. She wasn't even sure how many burns she had. She didn't know how long she had been with him. Nor what other injuries she had. She knew that her body was broken. She knew her spirt was fading. She had wanted to escape; and had tried so hard so many times. But she was losing that ability if she had even had it to start.

Olivia was brought back to focus as the bottle was pulled from her mouth. She had swallowed down what he wanted her to without a fight. Her lungs had already suffered enough every time he did this a little of the vodka would make its way in as she coughed and shook.

Lewis looked down at her with a smile.

" She how much easier that is when you don't squirm all over the place." He cooed. Once again his voice was that of someone talking to a small child.

Olivia glared back at him. She was done with his games.

"You know what shoot me." She snapped at him. His patronizing tone had rekindled the anger burning in her stomach. Maybe it was just the vodka talking. But in that moment she felt no fear.

Lewis Set the bottle down and knelt down on the bed. His face looming over hers.

"You think you can get out of this that easy?" he sneered

"You think that just because you're done playing the games ends." He said as he smacked her hard across the face.

Tears formed at the edges of her eyes. Her face was turned away from him. Then she felt his hand grab he chin and yank hard. She was forced to look him in the eye. Her fear was back. The pain of every injury was back. The reminder that she was alone, in the woods, with Lewis was back. She was alone. And she was afraid.

The tears against her will slipped silently down her face. She was losing control of everything. She couldn't even think straight.

"We haven't even started. You can have your gun back to shoot yourself when we are done if you want out so bad." He spat at her. He had a discussed look on his face. As if disappointed in how weak she was.

Olivia was in shock. Was he going to kill her? Would he force her to kill herself? She once again was brought back to focus when she felt his hands on her stomach

He ripped the last piece of fabric from the bottom of her shirt. Flopping in opened so that the only thing her black shirt still covered was the tops of her arms where the sleeves were. His fingers traced the brand he had left with her badge.

Olivia winced at the pain it caused.

His fingers then danced to the top of her pants.

"Please stop" She begged. As she strained trying to get his discussing hands off of her.

He glanced up at her briefly and flashed a cruel smile. And returned to what he was doing.

He undid the top of her pants roughly pulling her pants and underwear down her legs.

Olivia screamed. Wildly kicking out at him.

Lewis dodged her flailing legs and discarded her pants on the floor. He reached down and retrieved a length of rope. He caught her by one ankle pulling on her. This creating more strain on the already wounded writs.

Olivia used her other foot to kick at his hand. Desperate to get him to let go. Lewis continued unfazed by her attempt. He ties her let to the corner bed post and then repeats his actions with her other leg.

Olivia had given up on begging and now lay there screaming her lungs out. She could hardly breathe. Her body shook. And flashes of the last few days danced in her head. They were interrupted by flashes of the case files from his other attacks. She was even having flashes of her assault by Harris.

Olivia couldn't stop them. Her life was flashing before her eyes. Every bad thing she had ever seen. Every horrible case she had worked, her childhood horrors, her pain when Elliot had left. Everything. As desperate as she was to find anything good in her life at that moment she couldn't.

Tears rained down her face as Lewis climbed on top of her. She felt his hands tracing her breasts, touching every wound, touching her thighs and then feeling his weight shift as he forced himself inside her.

She could feel his stomach slapping against hers. His hot breath on her. She could feel his hands on her hips as he violently thrust into her. She shook as the sobs came from her throat.

When he finished he collapsed on top of her.

She couldn't breathe. His weight on top of her mad it next to impossible for her to breathe and pain was now unbearable.

Lewis climbed off of her and she had gone silent. Tears flooded down her face. But she couldn't scream anymore. He voice was gone from screaming and sobbing.

Lewis lit cigarette and passed the room in just boxers.

"Left you speechless huh?" Lewis said with a chuckle.

"Don't worry it was good for me too." He said.

Olivia couldn't hear the words that were coming from him. She couldn't feel her body. The pain was intense but she couldn't do anything but lay there.

Her voice was back in a moment as she screamed out as he plunged the cigarette into the top of her exposed thigh.

"I love the sound of your screams." Lewis said pulling the cigarette away and tossing it to the floor.

"Gets me all excited." She said walking along the side of the bed.

His fingers pushing on each burn as he passed them; each electing an involuntary scream. Olivia tried desperately to contain he screams of pain. She could see the pleasure on Lewis face.

Lewis climbed back on top of her. She twisted and turned trying to get him off of her. He was too heavy. She retreated into herself as he began to rape her again. She was gone. Completely numb.

When he was off of her she just continued to lay there. Lewis tried his antics again. He burned her several more times. But Olivia just laid there.

Lewis began to get frustrated.

"So you just going to give up on me?" he yelled at her.

Olivia didn't flinch. She didn't listen.

"Fine. I know what will get you going." Lewis said stalking back to his bag.

He pulled out the gun that had been laid in the top of the bag. He walked back to her. Shoving the gun in her face.

"you want to die?" Lewis asked.

Olivia didn't respond she just stared at the ceiling.

Lewis became more enraged. He wasn't done with her. He trailed the gun down her body. Over several of the burns. Jabbing forcefully at them with the end of the gun. When he reached the end of her body he slipped the gun between her legs.

He wasn't getting a reaction; Nothing not a scream or a sob or a movement. She remained completely still.

He forced the gun into her body. He twisted it. Still she only laid there. Tears now flowing from her eyes. But she did not cry out. She did not move.

Lewis pulled the gun from her, and briskly walked back to his bag. He dropped the gun on the floor and retrieved his pants. Lewis redressed himself and lit a cigarette.

"You know I thought I'd get more from you. But you're just like all the others. Weak." He spat out.

He collected his things, leaving her gun on the floor.

He strolled back to Olivia and leaned over her.

"We had fun though. " He whispered.

"I'm not going to kill you. I think I'll let you go. Maybe we can play this game some other day."

He placed the key in the hand cuffs and walked away.

"When you feel up to it let yourself go. I'm sure you friends from SVU can't be too far behind us." He said over his shoulder.

Olivia listened intently as she heard him leave the cabin. Her world had started to come back to focus when she heard the gun hit the floor.

When Olivia was sure he was gone she began to twist her hands in the cuffs to get a hold of the key. It took her several moment of twisting her arms and hoping the key would not simply fall from the cuffs. She finally got ahold of the key and freed her wrists.

The cuffs fell on the bed next to her head. She turned away from them and curled onto her side and began to cry. Her body ached. She wanted to get away from here. But fear filled her as she thought of Lewis looming somewhere in the woods.

She couldn't run. Her body wouldn't allow her. She had no phone to call for help. Lewis could be watching the cabin waiting to strike. To start the game all over again.

Olivia's mind relaying his last few words. 'Her squad' he mind clicked. They couldn't find her like this.

She forced her body out of the bed and retrieved her pants. A fresh wave of tears swarmed down her face at the pain she was in doing something as simple as dressing herself. She cried even harder seeing the mixture of blood and semen running down her legs.

When her pants were on she collected the gun off of the floor and wiped it off on her pant leg. She gathered her shredded shirt in the front.

She half sat half fell against the wall and brought her knees to her chest. Her body rocked as sobs ripped through her. Her arms wrapped around her legs and her gun held tightly in her hand.

The pain and her mind flashing with every heinous thing he had done to her.

She looked up from her place on the floor at the sound of the door to the cabin opening.

Her mind raced. It was better to leave on her own terms then to allow Lewis to torture and rape her again. As she sobbed hard she raised the gun in a shaky hand and held it to her temple. Her wrist ached at the weight of the gun. She never thought this would be the end. But she wouldn't allow herself to endure more. He would surely kill her but only after more twisted games. She closed her eyes. Allowing herself to think of the ones she loved. The Squad, Barba, Elliot. They would understand. She tried to reason.

Olivia sucked in a deep breath hearing the footsteps approaching her. She held the gun more firmly to her temple. The door to the room swan open and her index finger twitched slightly on the trigger. She didn't want to hear his voice again. Feel his hands on her. She didn't want to leave in fear. She didn't want to live as a victim.

**Will Olivia pull the trigger? Will squad find her in time? Will Lewis get more from her? Thank you for reading. Hope it wasn't to over the top. Please leave your comments and let me know what you think. I'll hopefully have the next chapter up tomorrow.**


	10. Chapter 10

Hope you guys are enjoying the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Characters obviously.

Chapter 10

Nick and Elliot headed towards the car. Looking into the windows they saw that no one was inside. They turned to shake their heads at Amanda and Rafael standing a few feet behind them.

Nick raised his hand and motioned for Rollins and Barba to go around back. They nodded and quietly headed that direction. Elliot followed closely behind Nick. They approached the front door pausing momentarily to listen. When they heard nothing from inside Nick open the door.

Nick and Elliot both held their guns slightly up as they stepped into the cabin. They swept the front room seeing nothing.

Meanwhile Amanda and Rafael made their way to the back of the structure to find a small door.

"Stay behind." Amanda whispered as she held her gun up and pulled the door open.

Rafael's heart was pounding. He wasn't sure how he had gone from ADA this morning to cop this afternoon. But now he was in the thick of things and wouldn't let the team down. As he had told Elliot, He had let them down enough this week. If this is what they needed right now he would do be there.

Amanda stepped into the cabin. Rafael followed a step or two behind her. They quietly looked around the hall way they had walked into. Amanda held her gun and he flashlight up looking down the hall. She proceeded with caution as she walked to the first door. He pushed it open to find nothing but an empty room.

She turned to look at Barba and shook her head. Barba's heart was pounding even harder. He wanted Olivia to be found. But wasn't sure if he could stomach being the one who found her. He also wasn't sure how he would handle coming face to face with Lewis. Court was one thing but this was out in the real world. Lewis didn't play by the rules in court. And He sure as hell didn't play by the rules in the real world.

They mad there way farther forward. The sound of footsteps came from behind the next door. Amanda took a deep breath raised her gun and opened the door.

Nick and Elliot spun around guns raised at the sound of the second door in the room they were in being opened. They came face to face with Amanda.

"Sorry guys." Amanda said releasing a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

Everyone lowered their guns. Amanda and Nick holstered there weapons. Elliot tucked his into his waistband. Rafael slowly mad his way into the room still holding his. He had no formal training with fireams. He wasn't really sure what to do with the gun so he left it in his hand and mad his way to the middle of the room with the others.

" We need to call in the car." Amanda said briskly

"Yeah. They're not here, But they couldn't have gotten far on foot." Nick added.

Everyone nodded and made their way out of the cabin.

As they stepped out of the cabin a patrol car rolled up. And the two unis stepped out of the car the moment it stopped.

"You guys find anything.?" One of them called to the group.

Everyone's eyes were down cast and they shook their heads.

"Just the car." Nick said to them.

"Alright." The uni said grapping his radio and calling it in.

"Will have extra bodies up hear in a minute." The second officer called to them.

Nick nodded.

The group gathered around in front of the squad car. They each gave each other quick glances. Taking a few deep breaths.

"The road runs up this way." Elliot said motioning with his hand.

"If Lewis was planning to make it to another cabin he probably headed that way." Elliot added

Everyone nodded.

"Stay here. Wait for the others. Let them know we are headed into the woods to see if we can find anything before we lose the light." Nick said to the uniformed officers. Who's only replied by nodding and getting back into their car.

The four of them headed toward the edge of the clearing next to the car. They surveyed the ground.

"Right here guys." Rafael called out freezing and pointing at the ground.

Everyone rushed over and looked a t the droplets of blood speckling the ground. A sinking feeling filled there guts. They had all seen the blood in the trunk at the Mayer's house. They had all see the blood in the back seat of the car they stood infront of now. And they had seen the security tape off Lewis beating the hell out of Olivia at the hardware store. They might be looking at a recovery not a rescue.

Nick swallowed then took a deep breath looking into the woods. ' where are you Liv?' He thought to himself.

Elliot was the first to speak up.

"Come on. The trail leads this way." He said before walking into the woods. His glance bouncing between the ground looking for clues and the deep woods in front of him. The others formed and a line next to him. Combing through the underbrush as they pressed deeper into the woods. This mini grid search was sucking up the last of the hope that they had.

They kept walking. Looking for any sign of Olivia, Lewis, or as much as it hurt them a grave or body. When they hadn't come across a mound of dirt or a body in their trek they regained some hope as they reached another clearing. Another cabin. This one hadn't been searched yet. There was no police presence. This one was much smaller. No more than two rooms in the entire structure.

They glanced at one another and broke into a full on run for the structure. This structure only had one door.

When they reached the door everyone pulled their guns and readied them selves. Nick open the door. Immediately shocked by the blood that was on the floor just a few feet inside the cabin. It was smudged.

There were two doors leading away from the room. Amanda and Rafael stayed in the main room as nick and Elliot both took a door. Taking deep breaths they slowly opened the door.

Olivia's eyes opened. Her hand still shaking with the gun pressed to her temple. She didn't know why she opened her eyes. It would only give Lewis the satisfaction of knowing he had power over her. Her eyes focused through the tears.

She didn't understand what she was see. Elliot stood in the doorway. That couldn't be. Her mind must have been playing tricks on her. The drugs were making her see things. It had to be Lewis. Her body began to shake as Elliot stept closer to her. Tears ran down her face.

"Liv?" Elliot said holstering his gun and knelling down in front of her.

Her eyes wouldn't meet his. He bagan to panic watching Olivia holding the gun to her own head. He could tell she was having a hard time. Her writs had deep cuts all the way around them. Her shirt way cut open and her body was shaking. She had blood and sweat on her face.

"Oliva. It's okay now. Give me the gun." He said holding his hand out to her. She flinched away from him. It broke Elliots heart to see her like this.

Footsteps could be heard at the doorway. And gasping noises.

Nick, Rafael, and Amanda all moved to the doorway looking in at the scene. Amanda's hand raised to her mouth in shock. Nicks eyes filled with tears as he looked at his partner balled up with her back to the wall. Rafael's stomach turned at what he was seeing.

They watched as Elliot held his hand out to Olivia. Her eyes were down cast and her gun was to her head.

Nick stepped forward. He couldn't watch his partner like this. He needed to help.

Olivia's eyes darted up at the sound of a second set of footsteps in the room. Her eyes feel on Nick as he walked up and put a hand on Elliot's shoulder.

"Liv?" Nick said his voice shaky but clear.

Olivia's chocolate eyes looked right into his. Then they moved to the blue ones right in front of her. She wasn't crazy. They were here. Her squad and Elliot had come for her. She lowered the gun and dropped in on the floor. She launched herself at Elliot almost knocking him over. She sobbed into his shirt.

Everyone in the released a breath.

Nick, Amanda and Rafael all moved closer to Olivia as she pulled away from Elliot's shoulder. Her eyes went to each of them. They had saved her.

Amanda's phone let out a shape ring. Olivia jumped a little at the unexpected noise.

Amanda quickly answered as she walked out of the room.

"Captain we found her." Amanda said

There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"Captian?" Amanda tried again.

"Is she alive?" Cragen asked worry heavy in his voice

"Yes, We are in a cabin about half mile from where we found the car."Amanda replied hurridly

There was another long pause.

" Lewis ran into a couple uni's He shot them both. One of them got off a clean shot to the head. Lewis is dead. Both of the Uni's are being rushed to the hospital."

" Okay." Amanda said taking in the information that the nightmare really was over. Olivia had been found. Lewis was dead.

"Liv's not in very good shape. She's lost a lot of blood. She needs to get to a hospital soon. "Amanda said once she had recollected her thoughts.

" Alright. Will send a bus up there now." Cragen said.

They ended their call and Amanda turned around to see Nick and Elliot on each side of Olivia as they helped her out of the cabin.

Amanda made her way to them. See Rafael Walking behind the three of them. He was talking quietly to Olivia. Conforting words that she was safe.

They stopped in front of Amanda.

"There sending a bus up." Amanda said firmly.

They nodded but they could all tell the blond had more to tell them.

"Lewis is dead…Couple unis canvasing the area crossed paths with him. He fired at them and they fired back." Amanda said watching there faces as they took in the information. She hoped that it would be soothing.

They nodded in their own time.

As the Ambulance arrived they slowly helped Olivia into the back. The parametics swarmed around her as they got her hooked up to an IV. Once he vitals were checked they were ready to leave.

"Do one of you want to come with her?" Asked the young paramedic.

Everyone looked at one another. They all want to go with her. Nick felt obligated to stay with his partner. But he would also need to be here when the Captian showed up.

Elliot despratly wanted to stay with her but he had driven his personal vehical up hear and couldn't very well leave it at a crime scene plus he was she to get chewed out from the captain for his stunts since he left the hardware store.

"I'll go" Rafael offered up.

Everyone looked at him. He looked so unlike himself today. And had acted so out of character. His scruffy face and laid back clothing. The sweat on his brow and the visibly shaken look in his eyes. Was far from the collected counselor that they all knew.

" Cregan's going to want to talk to you guys when you show up." He said firmly and climbed into the back of the ambulance. He nodded reassuringly at the group.

" Just meet us at the hospital." He said and turned his attention to Olivia. As they closed the doors.

He placed his hand on hers and held it gently. He wasn't usually the time for physical interaction. But he hadn't been himself today. And Olivia needed comfort. Rafael gently squeezed her hand, careful not to touch her damaged wrist.

"It's okay Oliva. It's over. You're going to be okay." Rafael said quietly to Olivia

She squeezed his hand back.

They Olivia laid there looking up at the ceiling of the ambulance knowing it wasn't over. She did take some confort knowing she wasn't alone. The warmth from Barba's hand was comforting.

**Okay hope Everyone enjoyed the rescue chapter. More to come. Please leave me some Reviews let me know what you think. And thank you everyone who has been reading.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to update. I promise I'm not abandoning my story. Just have a lot going on. Although I do have to say I would love to see more comments. I can see people are reading it and I would love to know what you're thinking. Even a one word Review is better than nothing. More than willing to take some suggestions PM me if you have ideas you want to share.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 11**

Olivia laid there listening to the ambulance sirens whine. The paramedic kept touching her. He checked her pulse, blood pressure, and placed an IV in her arm. Olivia tried hard not to flinch as the man's fingers touched her. Tears began to pool in her eyes. It was becoming hard for her to breath. When he was finished with what he could do for her he sat back.

Olivia sighed and looked over to Rafael. He had tears in his eyes. He was staring off into the middle distance. Olivia realized just how hard she was holding his hand. She immediately let go.

"I…I'm sorry." She choked out. Surely she was hurting him.

His green eyes locked on to hers. He shook his head. And a single tear wobbled down his face. He reached back out and took her hand once again.

Rafael wasn't sure why she had pulled away. He second guessed himself momentarily. Perhaps she didn't want to be touched. His eyes moved from his hand back to her face. Her eyes had returned to stare at the ceiling.

"Liv?" Rafael whispered.

Olivia turned her head and looked at him. She couldn't look him in the eye. She was too ashamed. She had let everyone down. She couldn't watch out for herself.

"Liv, Look at me. Please." His strangled words carved into her heart. She was being selfish. She would be fine. They were the ones that were hurting. Her eyes met his. She bit her lip. She tried to look passed the pity and the fear in his eyes. She just wanted her friend.

"Am I hurting you?" Rafael said running a gentle finger across the back of her hand.

Olivia shook her head.

"I was hurting you. That's why I pulled away." Her voice was shaky.

Rafael looked at her in shock. As if his eyes could get any bigger. He shook his head back at her. If holding his hand was helping her he would hold it forever. No matter how hard she squeezed.

"Olivia, it alright. You didn't hurt me." Rafael said looking at her with more determination. He wanted to show her he was there for her; that they were all there for her. That she was safe with them. The ball of guilt rolling around in his gut was only becoming worse as he looked at her. This was his fault. It wasn't the time to apologize. But he would do everything in his power to make sure that she knew just how sorry he was.

The ambulance slowed and came to a complete stop as they arrived at the hospital. The back doors flew open and Rafael stepped out of the ambulance in time with the gurney. He didn't want to let go of her hand.

"What do we have?" A male doctor rushed towards them. He was followed by several other medical staff.

Olivia's hand once again tightened around Rafael's as the doctor reached the side of the gurney.

"Olivia Benson, 49, multiple burns and cuts, severely dehydrated." The EMT from behind them said.

" Pulse is 120 bp is 140 over 90." The EMT fired off as he handed a clip board to the one of the nurses in the background.

They wheeled her into the hospital and Rafael refused to let go of Olivia's hand. As they reached a second set of door the doctor held up his hand.

"I'm sorry sir, you'll have to wait here." The man said

Rafael looked down at Olivia her eyes were wide and a momentary flicker of fear flashed across her face. She bit onto her bloody lip and nodded.

"It's okay Liv. I'm here. They'll get you fixed up and I'll be back to see you."

**Rafael's POV-**

I felt my heart being ripped right out of my chest as she squeezed my hand tightly and then released it as they pushed her through the doors. How did she do that? She managed to reassure me when she was the one who had been through hell.

I sighed heavily. Slowly I made my way back to the waiting room. The squad would be shortly. Just as I sat down the doors opened and revealed a panic faced Brian.

I stood walking to the man.

" Cassidy." I said, clearing my throat.

He whips around and his blue eyes are filled with tears. He walks quickly to me.

"Where is she? Is she okay? Can I see her? Why are you here? Where is everyone else?" Brian choked on the words as they feel out of his mouth.

I raised my hands, trying to get him to focus a little. Thankfully my composure had returned to me. I was no longer shaking, or crying. Olivia was getting looked at and I could focus on helping the other people in her life as they arrived at the hospital.

"Listen Cassidy, sit down ok?" I say calmly and pointed to a seat.

He practically falls into the chair as I sit down across from him. I look the man over quickly. He was clearly hurting. I know how much he cares about her.

"What's going on man?" Brian pleaded with him.

**Brian's POV-**

I watch Barba squirm in his seat. He looked calm. But he had clearly been crying. His eyes were red, and his skin was paler the normal. He didn't have anything against the sharp tongued lawyer. Olivia cared about him and it was obvious he cared about her too. They had a close working relationship and were friends. Once Olivia and I had been forced to disclose our relationship things had been a little rocky.

No one including Barba had thought very highly of me. And I was painfully aware I didn't deserve her. But I made it clear as day how much I loved her. I had been a permeant fixture of the squad room since they had discovered that she was missing.

What was he going to tell me?

"I know she's alive; but that's about all. Captain called to say she was being taken to this hospital. But that was it…How is she?" I finally managed to stutter out.

Barba met my eyes and took a deep breath before he began to speak.

"Honestly Cassidy I don't know. She looked rough. She was bloody, bruised and burned. I'm not sure of the extent of her injuries. I offered to ride along. Let the detectives deal with Cregan, and sort out the crime scene. I'm not sure what the extent of the investigation will really look like… Lewis is dead." Barba paused looking me over; watching for a reaction.

"Can't really bring a case against a dead man." Barba added

I nodded taking in the information that he was relaying.

"Does Liv know?" my voice heavy with emotions.

Barba just nodded.

"Was…Was she… raped?" a choppy whisper broke from my lips.

Barba's eyes filled with tears.

"I honestly don't know. She wasn't in a good way when we found her. Lewis left her in that cabin. She got loose and was sitting on the floor." I watched as he took a long breath before he continued.

"…she was holding a gun to her own head." Barba said breaking eye contact. He finished as he stared at his feet.

My heart felt like it was folding in on itself. She was trying to kill herself? What did that monster do to her? My brain ran wild with unthinkable possibilities.

The silence between us was broken when everyone else came rushing into the waiting room.

I looked up and saw them all standing there. They were Liv's family; the people that would be willing to kill or give there lives' for one another. Not just for the job, but the love that they felt for one another. What did they know? What were they feeling?

I watched as they approached me. There was such a wide range of emotions running across their faces; Anger, Sorrow, fear.

**Third Person POV-**

Nick, Amanda, Elliot, Fin, Don, John all stepped in to the waiting room and their eyes fell on Brian and Rafael. They slowly made their way towards them. They both looked like they were on the verge of tears.

Amanda broke the silence first.

"How is she?"

"I'm not sure. They wouldn't let me go with her." Rafael said regain his composure.

The group slowly nodded. They knew the drill. No news had come back. And until they had her looked at none of them would be seeing her. They each took a seat around the two men. As they settled in they took a moment to let the whole situation wash over them.

Brian was the first to break the new found silence.

"What's happening with the cabin? CSU up there?" He directed the questions openly but mostly amid at his former captain.

Don shook his head.

"No we called the owner of the cabin. Informed him of the situation; Called IAB about the officer involved shooting involving Lewis; and called crime scene clean up to come to the cabin." There was frustration and mixed emotion on everyone's face.

"Like I said can't charge a dead man." Rafael said to Brian. Although everyone heard the callused yet true statement.

Unannounced a man in a white coat approached the group.

"Are you Olivia Bensons…" He paused to look at the faces.

"Family. Yes." Elliot stated bluntly.

"Alright. Well Miss. Benson is lucky to be alive. Her heart rate and blood pressure were high when she was admitted. And she was dangerously dehydrated. We believe it was due to the large amount of alcohol and drugs she took." Fin cut the doctor off right there.

"Forced to take! She was held captive for four days. She didn't TAKE anything!" Fin growled at the doctor as he stood and walked towards him.

The doctor took a step back. He was clearly intimidated by the man standing with in punching distance.

"I apologize for my phrasing. " The doctor said slightly holding his hands up defensively.

Fin nodded and glared at the doctor before returned to his seat next to John.

"Miss. Bensons wounds have been cleaned and bandaged. She's going to need someone to help her with redressing some of them when she returns home. In addition to the damaged skin, she has four broken ribs and three cracked ribs. She also had a broken wrist. The other was dislocated. We were able to reset it. She'll need to take it easy on it but it shouldn't take long to be fully functional again. She has a concussion and given the alcohol and drugs in her system we would like to keep her conscious for a while until they are out of her system." He rambled out. Hoping he would be able to get through all of it before another member of the group stepped up.

They all looked around at one another. They watched each other take in the news of her current condition. They all had the same question on their minds. But none of them would ask the doctor. Olivia deserved some privacy. They wouldn't be doing an investigation. There wouldn't be a statement, a rape kit, or collection of evidence. They wouldn't be getting justice for her. If she wanted them to know she would tell them.

"Can we see her?" Brian piped up.

"Yeah. Um…Maybe only one at a time. You might over whelm her if you all go in." He said pursing his lips looking over the group.

" It's up to her. If she doesn't mind it's fine. She has her own room. She's on the fourth floor… She will be released in the morning." The Doctor added. He glanced at the clip board in his hands.

" Room 401." He stated. He turned and left the group.

They all stood and made their way to the elevator then headed to the fourth floor.

**Olivia's room-**

Olivia sat on the bed. She was dressed in a hospital gown. And although it felt like she was practically naked sitting there she allowed the blanket to only lie over her lap. She felt so confined under it. She had spent enough of the last four days restrained. She wanted the old comfort of hiding under a blanket but it didn't feel like that anymore.

She was well aware that the doctor had gone to inform the squad that she was done being poke and prodded. They would be up here in a minute. She wasn't ready to face them. But she also knew she couldn't take care of herself and she couldn't hide in the hospital. She would have to talk to them.

**Olivia's POV-**

My mind refocused. Elliot had been there. What was he doing there? Was he here? Had he disappeared again after I had been found? And Rafael he was there? Why had he been there? He hadn't even looked like himself. Why had he road to the hospital with me? Had I hallucinated them being there? Who was here? Was Brian here? I can't face him. I can't face any of them. They will look at me like a broken victim; pity filling their eyes.

A knock brings me out of my mind. I'm not sure who it is. They have drawn all the blinds to the room at my request.

"Come in" my voice squeaks. I clean my throat.

"Come in." My voice is clearer and loud enough to be heard from the other side of the door.

The door gently swings open and I watch as my partner opens the door and closes it behind him.

I let out a relieved sigh. I know my partner has my back. His eyes have concern. But they do not hold pity.

"Hey Liv." Nick says softly.

"Hey." I whisper back.

My legs are crossed under the blanket and I am sitting up right as he approaches the bed. Nick points to the end of my bed and I nod back. It was nice to have a partner that you could communicate with without a word.

He sat at the end of my bed and looked at me.

"Doctor said you're pretty rough around the edges. How are you feeling?" Nicks voice is even and quite.

Somehow he always knows exactly how to talk to me.

"I…I'm fine…" I said then shake my head. I couldn't lie to him.

"I don't know… I…I'm not fine." I said by voice breaking slightly.

Nick only nods.

He locks eyes with me for a moment. I try to convey everything that I need to say through my eyes. Then I start to feel emotions welling inside of me and I can't let him see the hurt in my eyes. I look at my hands that lay in my lap.

"I'm sorry. I should have been more careful. I should have been able to watch my own back." I said. My voice was void of any emotion. It sounded so strange to me.

I felt Nick shift slightly on the bed.

"Olivia….Look at me." Nick said his voice still even but the emotion was clearly starting to stir in him.

I glanced up. His eyes locked with mine again. He held out his hand. I hesitated but took it.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm not going to give you a victim speech. I respect you too much for that. You are fearless. And you faced horrendous acts of violence and survived. I'm just glad you're still with us." He says his voice breaking slightly.

I nod. I'm not sure I'll ever believe it but I nod.

"Everyone is here…do you want to see them?" Nick asks softly.

I speak before I really think this over.

" No." I said shaking my head.

Nick looked at me and nodded.

"Do you want me to go?" he asked cautiously running his thumb over the back of my hand that still lay in his.

I shook my head.

"Ok." He said.

My mind raced. They want to see me. Brian deserved to see me. I couldn't hide from him. I felt so ashamed. I felt dirty. I didn't want them to see me broken. I tilted my head slightly. I was being selfish again. They were here to see me.

"What is it Liv?" Nick said drawing me out of my thoughts again.

"They can come in… one at a time…if you'll stay with me." I said. I sounded so weak. I hated myself. I didn't deserve him or the people out there.

"Are you sure?" Nick asked firmly.

I Nodded. He gently squeezed my hand and released it standing from the bed.

He looked back at me and once again I nodded.

He walked to the door. I could see him motion to them. There were a few voices. I couldn't make them out. I didn't even try.

I looked up as I headed footsteps reenter my room. Nick walked around my bed and sat down in the chair. He was close enough to be supportive but not in the way of the other visitors.

My eyes wondered back to the door. Brian walked in and walked slowly towards me.

"Oh Liv." He said tears immediately running down his face.

I felt numb.

**Nick's POV-**

I Sat close to Olivia. I wasn't going to let her out of my sight. I was glad that she had wanted me there. I would have stayed with or without the invitation.

I watched as Cassidy approached her. His face was wet with tears. He was a mess. I didn't blame him. I did wish he would have pulled himself together a little before coming in. Hopefully the others would be more composed.

I nearly jumped out of my seat as Cassidy threw himself at Olivia, arms enveloping her. My jaw clenched as I saw her flinch at his touch. How could Cassidy be for fucking clueless? Olivia's face was lying on his shoulder and her eyes stared right at me. They were glossy. She was breaking. He needed to get off of her. My hands gripped the sides of the chair and I started to rise. She must have seen this as she gently shook her head.

My jaw remained clenched and my hands remained firm on the arms of the chair but the rest of me relaxed slightly as Cassidy pulled away from her.

Once again I saw her flinch slightly as he sat on the bed. My heart broke a little more each time I saw it. I didn't know if she had been raped. I did know that she had been violently assaulted and I wasn't going to pity her or baby her. But I was not going to allow Cassidy of all people make her worse. Make her fearful. She had been through enough. She had a long road ahead of her. She needed to know that the people in her life where there for her. They were her safety net.

"Baby I was so worried about you. Are you okay?" Cassidy asked quietly.

I rolled my eyes. I know it's the polite thing to ask 'Are you okay?' but she wasn't and everyone knew it.

He reached out and took her hand. She flinched again.

I watched as her jaw clenched slightly. She found composure and looked him right in the face.

" You should go home. You look exhausted." Her voice was firm. Their wasn't anger in it, there wasn't any emotion. But I could see she was ready for him to leave.

Brian shook his head.

" No, I want to stay here with you." Cassidy tried.

I watched as Olivia shook her head. She needed him to leave.

" Okay. Whatever you want. I'm only a phone call away and I'll be back in the morning to pick you up." He said.

Olivia only nodded. My body relaxed as I watched Brian walk out the door and close it behind him.

I looked back to Olivia. Tears were streaming down her face.

"Hey, Hey it's going to be ok." I tried to reassure her. I passed her a cup of water that had been sitting on the table.

She took it from my hand and took a large gulp. She handed it back and wiped her tears. I watched as she tried to take a few deep breaths. Her ribs were hurting. I could see the pain on her face and the way she held her stomach. I had been there. I knew that pain.

"Your ribs hurting? Do you want me to get the doctor? I can see if we can get you more pain meds." I asked standing up ready to sprint to the door if needed.

She shook her head.

"They haven't given me any. I can get some tomorrow to take home with me but until the drugs that…that _He _forced down my throat are out of my system they won't give me anything." She said.

It was not lost on me at the pause before she had decided to omit his name.

A quote from a movie I had watched with Zara popped into my head. It was silly but perhaps it would help.

"Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself" I said holding my hand out to her again.

She looked up at me with a slight smirk. It was the first expression that I saw on her face that was positive.

" Well Harry Potter didn't have to face…William Lewis down." Oliva said. There was a new found dedication on her face.

There brief moment was broken when the door opened again and Cregan stepped in.

Olivia looked up.

**Cregans POV-**

I had just watched Brian storm out of her room. He hadn't stopped to say anything to anyone. He had brushed passed everyone and walked back to the elevator. Nick had told them that she was up for visitors but that she wanted him to stay and only one at a time. He had also said that he was going to try and stay with her tonight and he wasn't going to leave his partner so they could decide amongst themselves the order in which they came to see her.

Brian had demanded to be the first to come into see her. Since he was the boyfriend and he had already aloud her partner in first they agreed; although I was starting to regret that decision. He had clearly been upset when he left. And now face to face with Olivia he could see how upset she was.

"Hey Liv. How ya holding up?" I ask cautiously I hold my composure. I know better than to get to close. But I also won't treat her like a victim. She is a fellow officer and she deserves our respect. I had given the others a small pep talk before they had arrived at the hospital.

She nods at me and clears her throat. He eyes swivel to her partner who squeezes her hand and gives her a reassuring nob.

"I'll be fine." She says. I know she's not fine and I'm proud of her honesty to not say she was fine but rather to tell me she would be.

"I know you will be. How are you now?" I don't want to push her but I needed to know. I felt like a father to her. I felt like I had let her down. It was my orders that had left her alone for two days with the psycho with no one even looking for them. Then it had ended up being another two days trying to catch up to them.

" I'm…I…I don't really know. I'm in a lot of pain." She winced out. I know how hard it was her to admit to any kind of pain. I figured she meant physically but knowing Lewis MO he could assume there was some psychological pain as well.

"Are they giving you painkillers?" I ask hoping that the hospital was at least making her comfortable.

She shook her head.

"Can't til the drugs and alcohol are out of my system." She said her voice falling back to a hollow echo.

I nod.

"Do you want me to send everyone home?" I asked hoping she might take the suggesting talking was clearly exhausting.

She only shook her head.

"Alright well I'll let them know." I said turning from her.

"Take care of yourself." I said over my shoulder as I walked out.

**Rafael's POV-**

After Don had left I entered the room. I walked slowly across the room. I hate hospitals. I hate the smell, the lights, the feeling. I hate seeing her here. I hate seeing his best friend beaten and broken sitting in here.

I stopped myself a few feet from her bed. I wasn't sure how to hold myself. What should I say to her? This was not a situation I had ever found myself in.

When she held her hand out to me I felt my legs move without my knowledge. I didn't like not being in control of a situation. But I found myself in unfamiliar water. I had been there all day. I didn't know how to feel or what to do but Olivia did. And I was there for her not myself.

When I reached out for her hand she pulled on it slightly. She didn't have much strength in her arms because of the wrist injuries. I followed her hand though and when I was next to the bed I stopped. I looked down and a few tears ran down my face.

I was losing every bit of control I had.

"'I'm sorry I didn't get your call sooner." I choked out and began to sob.

She released my hand and held her arms open.

I sat down next to her on the bed and took her in my arms. She began to cry into my shoulder and I cry with her.

"It's okay. You came for me. You saved me. You all saved me." Olivia whispered into his ear.

"I'm so glad you're still here. I kept thinking I was going to lose my best friend and I could hardly breathe… And then…And then when we found you… and you were holding that gun….I…I was so scared…I'm so sorry Oliva." I cried. I didn't care. So much had been thrown out the window today. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I needed my best friend. And I knew she needed me.

"I'm just glad you're here." Olivia replied.

They slowly pulled out of their hug. Olivia promised they would talk more once she was out of the hospital.

I reached a finger out and gently wiped away her tears. She smiled. It wasn't her smile. But the attempt was made and on a day where I was thankful for everything I had I was thankful for that smile.

I quickly pulled myself together; at least as much as I could. I needed coffee.

As I walked to the door I shot a look back at Nick. There was no confusion. The look was well understood. 'Take care of her.' Nick had nodded back and I had exited the room to join the others.

**Third person POV-**

Amanda had come in next. Her eyes had had pity in them. The first time one of her coworkers, her friends had shown this emotion. It was mixed with anger and guilt. But it had turned Olivia's stomach. She hated seeing this. Amanda had spoken softly to her. She hadn't treated her like a victim but she had treated her like she was broken. Her last words were that they were all there for her. And that they would help her through this. She had also told her that she was only a phone call away and if she needed anything to just call.

Fin had come in next. Olivia thought of Fin as a big brother. He was protective but he also respected her. She had once felt like the squad was her family and the boys where her brothers. But after Elliot left and Munch had been promoted she felt like He was the only one who really remembered how things were. He had been so protective of her and so helpful after Harris and Everything that had happened at Sealview. He had never treated her as anything other than an equal. And he had been the only one really watching her back when Elliot had left. Mostly he had always been someone she had felt safe with. He had sat with her the longest. They had talked frankly.

She told him she was in a lot of pain. She told him she was glad Lewis was dead. She asked if Elliot was at the hospital and He told her about how he had joined the hunt and that he was there. She had asked to see him last. She told him she was grateful that they had all come. And how thankful she was that they had saved her. She also told him about the hesitations she had about seeing Elliot. Fin had joked about knocking Elliot on his ass. And Olivia had laughed. Nick had joined in on the laugh. He had laughed because Olivia had laughed a sound he had wondered if he would ever hear again.

Fin gave her a tight reassuring hug and left.

Munch walked in after that his visit was short and sincere. Explaining he was glad that she was safe now. He as well passed on an invitation to call him day or night if she needed anything.

When Munch left Olivia felt sick. Elliot would walk in that door next. She felt exited to see him and at the same time terrified to see him. Equally she felt terrified that he wouldn't come in. That somehow he had disappeared without a word yet again.

Nick and Olivia sat in silence waiting for the next visitor. Olivia was exhausted. She remained sitting on her bed, legs crossed but her shoulders were slouched and her head was hanging down; her chin almost touching her chest. Her fingers gently tracing the bandages on her right wrist. It was a tight wrap to keep her wrist straight. Unfortunately it was also irritating the raw flesh underneath. Her left wrist wasn't much better off. It was in a temporary cast.

When the door opened again her head popped up. It had been slightly startling. But she regained composure quickly and watched as Elliot stepped into her room. It was like watching a ghost walk into the room. She felt cold. She felt sick.

Nick was watching her closely as her posture changed her back became straight. Her chin was held high and her face was almost stoic. He also saw the color drain from her face and the slight shake of her hands as they found their way to her knees.

Neither of them spoke. They just stared at each other. Her eyes were glassy and her lip began to tremble.

Elliot walked closer. She nodded and he sat down on her bed. He had his head down slightly he was completely exhausted. The last few days had been the most strenuous days he had been forced to endure he couldn't even begin to image the hell Olivia had been put through. He thought back to the moment he had seen the news. He released a breath that he felt he had been holding since that moment.

He looked up at Oliva. Her eyes were full of tears. But she was not allowing them to fall. She was always so strong even when everyone was expecting her to crack. He had often wondered if she was somehow stronger in those moments. Like she felt she had to prove something to everyone. He had seen her cry a few times. Each and every time it had been the most heart breaking thing he had ever seen. The fact that the rest of her was so abused was even more heart breaking.

He watched as she turned her head. She was looking at Nick. Her mouth opened slightly then she licked her lips and cleared her throat.

"…Um…Nick would you…would you mind giving us a few minutes." She said her voice cracking as she spoke.

He reached out and she took his hand. He gave her a questioning look.

" You sure?" He asked his glance bouncing between Elliot and Olivia.

Olivia nodded.

" Alright. I'll go take the others and go get some coffee. You want me to bring you back a cup?" He asked bringing his other hand up to cover the top of the hand he was holding.

Olivia again nodded.

" Thanks Nick."

Nick released her hand and walked to the door. He took one more look at Olivia and exited the room. Silently vowing to never allow anything to happen to her. He didn't know Elliot. He had helped them find Oliva but that was only the tip of a very large iceberg and he knew it. Olivia had been a broken woman when he met her. Not physically like she is now. That was a whole different level. But she had been an emotional rollercoaster as a partner. And he was well aware as conversations eventually got to it that it had a lot to do with Elliot and the fact that he left and more specifically how he left.

He hoped that their conversation wasn't going to be about that. Olivia had enough going on without Elliot fucking with her head.

Nick walked to his colleges and motioned them to follow.

"Where are we going?" Rafael asked. Concern etched on his face.

" Coffee run. Liv needs a minute." The squad followed close behind with aches in their hearts and knots in their stomachs.

**Alright I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Next Chapter should be ready soon. Will find out what will happen with Olivia and Elliot.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Alrighty I hope that everyone enjoyed the last chapter. It kind of got away from me. I wasn't planning on writing such a long chapter, but I think that it was good. It is what I felt needed to be said. Plus it was sort of an apology for the fact that it took me so long to write the chapter. Also just wanted to let you all know there is an end in sight. I hate stories that never really end. Either the Author just keeps going and going and people lose interest or the Author abandons the story. I have a plan it might be shorter or longer then my plan but there is at least a general outline in place. **

**Chapter 12-**

Olivia sat quietly as Nick left the room. Her stomach was doing back flips and when the door was closed she had almost wanted to call out to him. Her eyes alternated between Elliot and her hands. She didn't know what to say to him or how to talk to him anymore.

Elliot felt out of place. Olivia had been his partner and friend for twelve years. They had been close. They had spent everyday together. But when it came to being her friend without the job. When it came to being anything to her after being gone for over two years. He was finding it hard to come up with the words.

Oliva broke the silence first. She was feeling uncomfortable but clearly so was he.

"Why are you here?" Olivia said watching him closely. She wouldn't be weak around him. She wasn't sure she could trust him. She felt weak. But she would be strong in front of him.

"I…I saw the news." Elliot whispered attempting to swallow the lump forming in his throat.

Olivia nodded. She obviously hadn't thought about that. Her face had probably be plastered all over the news the last few days.

"Oh" Olivia said with out really thinking. It had just sort of popped out of her mouth.

Elliot only nodded. His head dipped now. He stared not at his hands but at Olivia's. Her fingers fiddled with each other. He looked past her fingers looking at her bandaged wrists.

"I'm so sorry Olivia." Elliot said quietly allowing his eyes to travel to her face.

Olivia considered this for a moment. Was he sorry for leaving her? Was he sorry for not talking to her for over two years? Was he sorry she had been kidnapped? Assaulted? Raped? Or was he sorry it had taken him until this had happened for him to come back? Did it even matter? Everything that had happened couldn't be changed.

"I'm sorry for it all." Elliot said. As though he had read her thoughts.

Olivia's eyes locked with his. She bagan to feel anger building in her. She felt like she couldn't breathe. What right did he have to come back into her life now.

"Elliot…Why?" Olivia asked. It came out snappy and she wasn't going to apologize for it.

"Hm…Why did you leave? Why did you come back? Why are you here?" Olivia yelled. Her yelling was cut short as tears began to fall down her face and a gut retching sob ripped through her body.

Elliot watch in horror as Olivia yelled at him and then hot angry tears spilled down her now read face. She had just ripped his heart out. And she deserved answers.

"Because I care about you." Elliot said. Tears began to fall done his face as well. He reached a hand out to her. She knocked it away and then cried out again; both in pain of hitting her damaged wrist and in frustration of the whole situation.

"You care? You care? Then why did you leave? Why haven't I heard from you? Why did this have to happen to bring you back?!" Olivia screamed at him again.

Elliot shook his head. She needed to calm down she was going to hyperventilate.

Elliot stood and walked to the door. He didn't want to leave her like this but she needed water and the glass that sat by her bed was empty. Elliot open the door.

" Good Elliot just leave again. Just do me a favor and don't come back." Olivia screamed

Elliot's heart took another blow. Did she really think he would leave again?

"I'll be right back" He said to her quietly. She just shook her head.

"Leave me alone!" She screamed.

Elliot was standing in the door looking back at her when he felt hands on him. They grabbed him and throw him to the floor.

Elliot hit the floor hard. He looked up to his assailant just in time it see a fist coming right at his face. The punch knocked his head to the side.

"What the fuck is wrong with you man?" Nick yelled at his as he swung another firm blow into Elliot's face.

Nick then was pulled away by Don yelling at them both. Olivia's Sobs could be heard over the ruckus in the hall. Amanda quickly step passed them all and entered Olivia's room closing the door behind her.

Olivia had pulled her knees into her chest and had her arms firmly wrapped around them. Her face buried into her knees. She rocked herself slightly. Her chocking sobs continued.

Amanda step closer. The sound of the footsteps didn't go unnoticed by Olivia her head snapped up ready for a fight. He words on the tip of her tongue ready to assault Elliot again. When she realized it was Amanda she paused.

Amanda held a coffee towards her.

Olivia's hand quickly reached up to her face and she angrily whipped away the tears. She then extended her hand for the cup.

Amanda gently handed her the hot cup of coffee and took a seat next to Olivia. She took a few sips from her cup. She knew Olivia was angry and frustrated and sad. She knew that nothing she said right now would make her feel any better so they sat in silence.

After Olivia had drank about half her coffee and the drama in the hall had stopped she turned to Amanda.

"Thanks." She said holding the cup up.

"No problem." Amanda shot back.

"you're going to be okay Olivia. Everyone is a little keyed up right now…No one knows what all you went through…Maybe we never will…But we all care about you…And I know it'll sound selfish but no one has slept since we found out that you were gone…so if people are a little on edge around you…It's not that they see you broken or like a vic….We all just need a break. It's not your fault that this happened…" Amanda mumbled out. She wanted to convey that she was sorry that this had happened but also try and let Olivia know that she was going to be okay. And let her know the squad would be okay too.

"I know." Olivia sighed.

"You guys should all probably go home." Olivia stated. Her voice was just about a whisper.

"Someone can stay with you Liv. Do you want me to get Nick for you?" Amanda said trying to reassure her.

"I don't know… I think I just need some time alone. And you guys all look exhausted. I know I am. I've got about twenty minutes before they are going to let me sleep. The doctor will probably be back in her shortly to check on me then I'll probably be good." Olivia mumbled out. She was to tired. Everything that had happened in the last week was crushing her. The trial, the day's with Lewis, Everything that had happened since she had gotten to the hospital. She was ready for the bliss of sleep.

Amanda nodded slowly.

" Do you want me to stay until the doctor shows up?" Amanda asked cautiously. She didn't want to over stay her welcome but she also didn't want to leave Olivia alone.

"No. I'll be alright." Olivia said firmly.

"Alright. Well Will let you get some sleep."

"Oh, almost forgot. One of the lab techs brought this by." Amanda said handing Olivia her phone.

"Call any time…Any of us can be back here in a few minutes. Ok?" Amanda said with a small smile.

Oliva smiled back and nodded.

Amanda walked to the door.

"Get some sleep Liv." Amanda said before she stepped out the door and closed it gently behind her.

Amanda walked back to the waiting room where she found the rest of the squad. To her surprise she found Elliot was still there. He was holding an ice pack to his jaw and Nick held one to his knuckles.

Don's eyes shot up to Amanda as she entered the room.

" How's Liv?" He asked his eyebrows knitting together in worry.

"she's…She's Tiered….And she's being Liv...Worrying about everyone else…She just wants to be alone. She said we should all go home and get some sleep." Amanda said to everyone.

Don lowered his head slightly nodding.

"She's right. Everyone needs to get home. Get some sleep. Take tomorrow." Don said to his subordinates.

"We can't just leave her hear alone." Nick tried to argue.

Don held up his hand.

"She's safe now. She has her phone if she needs us." He said firmly.

Everyone reluctantly nodded and stood. They gathered there belongings. Elliot and Nick both wanted to stay and although Don had no control over Elliot they all knew that if Olivia didn't want visitors right now no one was getting into see her.

It had been almost three hours since he doctor had come in to say it was safe for her to get some rest. She still had traces of the drugs and alcohol in her system but they were no longer at dangerous levels and that her concussion was minor and she should be able to sleep without risking her health.

Olivia sighed. She had been laying her staring at the ceiling. Her mind was running wild with her. Every noise was Lewis. Every unexpected shadow that passed the windows of her room was Lewis coming back for her. She had moments where she could keep herself calm. She had to remind herself he was dead. He wasn't out there. She wasn't with him anymore. But most of the last three hours were panic inducing. She was so afraid. She wished she had let someone stay with her.

She kept telling her it was selfish of her to have asked any of them to stay. They were tiered too. Still her mind continued to race. She thought about calling Brian. But decided against it.

Their relationship was already on the rocks. This wasn't going to make things any easier. Brian had taken it hard getting demoted. He took every shift he could. He kissed as much ass as he could. He was hoping that he would be able to make it back to Detective by next year if everything went well. But the career driven man had not spent much time with her. He also refused to talk about what had happened with Cregan last year.

She wasn't sure she trusted him. It had been easy to fall back into bed with him after the shooting. However their relationship was still new to both of them. And a new relationship deserved a chance it wouldn't survive this. She wouldn't be able to talk to him about this. She didn't want to hurt him. But she also didn't want to spend months of healing and leaning on him just for there relationship to fall apart later. It wasn't right for either of them. They had also talked about a future but neither saw this as a long term thing. They loved each other, but it wasn't meant to be.

She came to the conclusion that she would break it off with Brian tomorrow. He would take it hard. But it was what was right.

Hot tears began to slide down her face. It was scary to think of being alone right now. But it was unfair to Brian to ask him to stay.

Olivia's body hurt and her eyes kept drifting shut only to fly open at the slightest sound. Some of the sounds were in her head. Lewis' voice taunting her, the sound of the gun hitting her in the head, The sicking cracking noise her ribs had made when he kicked her. The sound of the gun shots being fired into the people who had tried to help her.

Other sounds were even worse. The sound of Mrs. Mayer begging for her life while Lewis raped her. The sound of the phone ringing when she had tried to call for help. The sound of footsteps aprocing her while she held a gun to own head. These sounds would never leave her mind. Olivia sat up. She couldn't be alone right now.

She picked up her phone and clicked on the contacts. She scrolled through them. who would still be up. Most of them had probably passed out the moment they got home. But Chances are that a few were wide away. Thinking about everything that had happened. Thinking about the unanswered questions. Thinking about what the next few days might look like.

She scrolled through the contacts a few times. Her heart broke a little more each time. She didn't like being needy. She was a strong person before this happened. But as much as it hurt her she needed someone her with her. She taped one of the contacts and held the phone to her ear.

**N/A: Who will she call? Have we seen that last of Elliot? Will she break things off with Brian? What will life look like after all of this? I'd love some feed back.**


	13. Chapter 13

Authors note: So I had most of this written weeks ago but I still needed to finish and edit it. Then we had a massive wind storm where I live and it knocked out the power of like 200,000 people in the city I live in. Personally this left me without power for eight days. fallowing was thanksgiving and then having to work almost double my scheduled hours because a coworker got injured and missed some work. My hours in this upcoming work week are quite a bit less extreme and I plan to have a few chapters up. My plan is to finish this story by New Years.

WARNING: Description of injuries.

Chapter -13

Olivia listened as the phone rang. When she heard the ringing stop and the muffled noise on the other end she held her breath she hadn't meant to wake him up. Of the people she had considered she figured he would be awake.

"Hello" Rafael muttered.

"…Hey, sorry for waking you up…I… I couldn't sleep. I was hoping you would still be awake…" Olivia mumbled suddenly feeling embarrassed that she had made the call.

"No. It's fine Liv. Are you ok?" Rafael said more clearly. A thin layer of worry floating thru the phone.

"I…I…I Just can't sleep." Olivia said. She began to feel panic rising in her. And anger for being so scared.

Tears slowly made their way down her checks. Olivia felt as though she would be crying for the rest of her life. She was crying because she was afraid, crying form her anger, crying at her weakness, crying over every painful and humiliating thing that had been done to her.

" Do you want me to come over there? We can just sit. I wasn't sleeping much myself." Rafael spoke softly.

"Yes…Please." Olivia cried into the phone.

Rafael felt his heart being ripped out of his chest for what felt like the millionth time.

"Okay, do you want me to stay on the phone on my way over?" Rafael offered.

Olivia felt a more tears crash down her face.

"No...It's okay." Olivia choked out. She needed to get off the phone. She felt so embarrassed.

"Okay, I'll be right over. " Rafael said ending the conversation.

Olivia laid there starring at the ceiling her heart pounding she had never wanted to be in this situation. She hoped Barba would make it to the hospital quickly. She felt bad for waking him up. But of the people she had considered he was the one most used to her middle of the night calls.

The Squad was used to the late calls as well but mostly from Cregan calling to say they had caught a case in the middle of the night and to head to a scene or the hospital. Barba was the one she would call to just talk.

So much had changed after Elliot had left. She had felt so alone. Elliot wasn't hers but he was. He was her partner, her best friend. They watched each other's backs; they had talked when the case got too hard. Although Barba wasn't in the field with her he had in some part filled that emptiness. He had helped her reconnect with someone.

She was pulled from her thoughts by a light knock on the door. He eyes darted up and her heart rate tripled. The door slowly swung open and she watched as Barba walked in and closed the door behind him.

"Hey." He said softly as he walked over and took a seat next to her.

"Here I know it's three in the morning but I figure if we are going to be up why not." He said handing her a hot cup of coffee.

"Thank you, Sorry for dragging you down her in the middle of the night. Guess I'm not quite ready to be alone."

Rafael nodded his understanding. He sighed loudly and ran a hand over his face. He took a long sip of his coffee and turned his eyes to Olivia.

"Don't worry about it. I was going to head back over here early anyhow." Rafael tried to reassure her.

Olivia only nodded.

Rafael watched as she stared out into the middle distance. She looked so broken and out of place. A million questions flew through his head.

" Olivia?" Rafael tried.

Olivia slowly turned to look at him.

"What?" She asked softly.

"If you want to talk I'm here." He said. He hoped that she wouldn't completely shut down.

"I…I don't even know where to start. I'm so used to being on the other side of these situations. I guess I'm still processing everything." Olivia stated. Her voice was calm and steady but it seemed so far away.

"Well I know everyone is here for you." Rafael said.

Olivia only nodded. Her eyes traveled over Rafael. He was wearing dark pants and a hooded sweatshirt. It looked as if he had managed to shave and comb his hair. His green eyes were hard to see in the limited light but she could make out the dark circles under them. She could tell just how exhausted he was.

"Thank you for coming. I know how tiered you are." Olivia whispered to him.

"Never a problem Liv. You're always there for me when I need to blow off steam after a case even if you're exhausted. Why wouldn't I be here for you now?" Rafael stated; adding the rhetorical question to the end.

"Still you've already done a lot for me. You all have." Olivia said. Her voice slowly faded away and she looked at him again.

"What is it?" Rafael said with a ting of worry in his voice.

Olivia shook her head.

"I was really rough on Elliot. I just…I thought the next time I saw him would be different. After talking to everyone else I was already losing my cool a little and I didn't mean to blow up on him. "

"He's a big boy he'll be fine. After what I've heard you say about him I think he probably deserved worse."

"He helped find me though. He helped Nick get me out of the cabin. Helped save me." Olivia said quietly.

"You said he worked at SVU with you for twelve years?" Rafael asked.

"Yeah." Olivia answered.

"Then he knows how these situations can go. How many survivors yell, cuss, cry, throw things, try and run away or push you away?" Rafael asked; phrasing his question carefully. He would never call Olivia a victim. She wasn't .She didn't see herself that way and neither did they. This would change her but she wouldn't let this break her. This would be like everything else horrible that had happened in her life she would learn to build on it. She learns to use it to make herself stronger. Because that is who Olivia is she is a survivor not a victim.

Olivia nods.

"You're right… As usual." Olivia replied with a slight laugh.

Rafael watched her for a moment.

"I don't know how or when or even if I should tell anyone what all happened but if you have questions you can ask. I know I look rough but I promise I won't break." Olivia said after realizing Barba was staring at her.

Rafael swallowed the lump in his throat.

Rafael had so many questions. He thought hard a handful came to mind that he really wanted to know. Olivia and him always talked straight they didn't beat around the bush. That was one of the things that made their friendship work. It made their working relationship so much more fluid. They knew there was no place or time for judgement. And with that he decided that he would ask her the questions buzzing in his head.

"Olivia… I do have questions. Frankly I have a lot of them and I know that the squad does too. You need to know that we care about you and we won't push you. We all know how this works. Healing and recovery from something like this is going to take time. And Olivia Look at me…" Rafael said waiting for Olivia to meet his eyes.

" I will be here for you. Those are not just words. That is a promise. You are not alone. Ok?" Rafael said watching Olivia.

Olivia only nodded. Tears began to run down her face. She thought of how blessed she was to have people in her life.

"We are honest people Olivia. We don't walk on eggshells around one another. I don't want to hurt you but I do want to ask some questions. Mostly just for my own sanity. But I need you to know that if you feel like you can't or don't want to answer I'll understand. I want assume anything by the lack of answer. Are you still okay with talking about this?" Rafael said. He held his breath slightly waiting for her answer. He really did want answers to some of his questions but he didn't want to upset her more.

"It's fine. Ask your questions. I'll…I'll try and answer them." Olivia said

Rafael nodded slowly. He ran his hand over his face once again. He took another sip of his coffee trying to decide what the best way to go about his questions. He was not a cop. Although given everything that had happened in the last couple of days it was beginning to feel like that. He had never spoken with a victim in the hospital about their attack it had always been days or weeks later when a person responsible had been caught and they were beginning to prep for trial. He didn't see Olivia as a victim or broken. But she had been through something horrific and traumatic. He was there to make her feel better. He was not there to take a statement or interrogate her. He was so heartbroken over this whole situation he needed answers.

Olivia held herself still, her body was in a lot of pain. Her mind however had quieted. She was no longer afraid of the darkness in the room. No longer afraid of the noises around her. She was not alone. She was not with Lewis.

"When did Lewis show up at your apartment?" Rafael said. His voice was level and calm. His emotions ran rapid inside of him. He knew that if he wanted to ask the questions and not upset Olivia he would ask with a calm tone void of emotion. He asked her the way he had watched Olivia questions victims. He questioned her with compassion but not with pity.

"He was in my apartment when I got home. I don't know how he got in." Olivia replied flatly.

Rafael let that seep in before he asked his next question.

"Why did you call me? Why didn't you call 911 or someone on the squad?" Rafael asked his question more personal. He felt his chest tighten. He had gotten the third degree over that question when he had walked into the squad room in panic and showed them the voicemail.

"I hit redial. You were the last person I called…I couldn't remember who I had talked to last. I was just reaching out. I… I was hoping that whoever I was calling would answer and hear what was going on. Hoping that whoever I was calling would come and help me. I… I felt like I was as good as dead when I hear the voicemail start….Things got bad after that." Olivia said. Her voice was like a distance whisper.

"I'm sorry Olivia. If I had gotten that call sooner I would have broken your door down myself. " Rafael stated with regret in his voice. He had told Elliot that he had gotten the call as a redial. But this was conformation. It also was the most likely situation. They talked every day. On almost any day he was her last call and she was his.

"It was a long shot anyhow. I'm just thankful you're here now." Olivia said. She looked at Rafael. She saw how broken up he was about this. She hoped that the pain of this was not affecting the rest of the squad as bad.

Rafael nodded. " I'm glad to be here. And I am so thankful that you are still with us."

Olivia turned away from Rafael. She was glad to be out of Lewis' clutches but she knew that it wasn't over. Somehow the thought of 'Still being here' was not as appealing as she thought it would be.

"Do you want to stop?" Rafael asked as he watched Olivia turn away from him. There was only a table light in the room so while he could see her it was not great lighting. He thought he could see tears brimming in her eyes again.

"I'm alright. If you have more questions ask them." Olivia said with determination.

"Okay" Rafael replied

Rafael took a moment to think.

"I saw some of the burns while we were helping you out of the cabin. What's the worst of them?" Rafael asked. His mind had gone into hyper drive and then numb when he had seen all the blood on Olivia. She was covered in burns cuts bruises. His stomach rolled now just thinking about it. He had only asked because of the way she was positioned he could see one of the bandages that covered one of the burns.

Olivia felt tears well once again in her eyes. Her throat felt as though it was closing up on her. She took a large gulp of her now lukewarm coffee.

"Rafael, come here. " Olivia said lightly patting the bed where next to her.

Rafael's body moved without thinking. He set his coffee down on the small table next to her bed and rose from his seat and sat next to her on the bad one leg slightly tucked under him so that he could face her. Olivia was sitting up in the bed. The blanket fell loosely over her lap.

"Pull my gown up." Olivia stated not making eye contact with Rafael.

"What. No Liv. It's okay. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Rafael said. His voice held a slight squeak as he spoke. He was completely taken aback by her request.

"It's okay. You're my best friend. I know you won't hurt me. Honestly I'd rather have you see firsthand then allow you to take what I say and make it worse in your mind." Olivia Whispered.

"Are…are you sure?" Rafael asked.

Olivia only nodded

Rafael felt sick. He moved his hands as they shook. His fingers reached the edge of the blanket and pulled the blanket slowly off of her lap. He looked to her for a continued approval. She slowly nodded and he then took the edge of her hospital gown.

Her thighs were marked with dozens of cigarette burns. Rafael tried to maintain his composure.

" He was trying to get me to react, to scream, to fight back…These were the last of the burns. I was numb…I didn't feel them…I didn't feel anything." Olivia said here voice almost an echo.

Rafael stared at the burns in horror as he listened to Olivia's description of how they occurred. He could not imagine himself in a situation where that kind of pain would not make him react. Rafael realized he was still holding the bottom hem of her hospital gown. He wondered if this was what she wanted to show him of just a painful step on the way to the worst.

"Are these the worst?"

Olivia shook her head.

Rafael slowly pulled her gown up higher to reveal cotton shorts underneath. He continued to pull the gown up until her stomach was exposed. Rafael looked at the bright read burn makes on her stomach. There were two made by what looked like keys and three that were clearly the end of a cigarette matching the burn makes on her thighs.

Rafael's eyes traveled over the damaged skin. Each burn had been dabbed with a small amount of burn cream however they were not bandaged.

"The cigarette burns are from the same time as the ones on my legs. He just wanted to hear me scream. The key marks are from before I called you." Olivia said

She pulled the top of her gown down slowly. Reveling that each of her breasts held several cigarette burns and each had an angary key mark.

"My god Liv." Rafael said in a gasp as he took in her horribly marred body.

"You asked for the worst though." Olivia whispered.

"Rafael had seen most of her body at this point. His mind raced. 'What could have been worse?' he wondered.

Olivia's slowly moved her right hand past Rafael's hands that still held her gown up and grabbed at the top of her shorts. She slowly pulled them down just enough to see a bright red in print of her badge. She gently pulled her shorts up again careful not to run the material against the very painful wound.

Rafael lowered her grown and returned the blanket to her lap. He slightly tucked her in like parent would do for a child. He did this very cautiously not to hurt her. He kept his eyes on his hands. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. He just sat next to her on her bed quietly absorbing what he had just seen. He felt so angary and sad that he wondered if it was possible to ever feel anything else again.

When his eyes finaly broke from his hands he looked up to Olivia. Her face was covered in tears. Rafael reached a hand to her face slowly and shipped away the tears.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you Olivia. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to put him away after Ms. Parker. This never should have happened." Rafael said softly looking back into his lap as tears began to prick his eyes.

Olivia slowly moved a hand to his back and gently rubbed circles. It hurt her to hold her arm like this with a sprained wrist but her friend needed to be comforted and she would push past the pain.

"It's not you fault Rafael…Lewis is the only one I will ever hold accountable for what has happened." Olivia replied.

N/A So I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Hopefully have the next chapter up soon.


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry it's been a while lots of things happening in my life. Hope you enjoy the new Chapter. Please leave me a review.

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Olivia shot up in her bed breathing hard. She looked around wildly expecting to have to fight off Lewis. Her breathing evened out and she became calmer as she realized she was sitting in a hospital room. Olivia looked to her left to see Barba asleep in the chair next to her bed. As the bits and pieces of the day before began to flood into her mind she began to feel all the places on her body that hurt. She became overwhelmed by a feeling of being dirty. All she wanted was a shower and to go home.

Just as Olivia began to pull the thin blanket off there was a knock at the door. She felt her heart once again begin to pound.

"Who…Who is it?" Olivia said trying to regain her control.

"It's Brian." Cassidy said through the door.

Olivia felt a new wave of panic. It was hard to explain. She wasn't afraid of Brian but she felt nervous about talking to him. Not to mention she had called Barba in the middle of the night instead of him and now he was asleep in her room. She also still felt like she needed to break things off with him.

Olivia took another deep breath.

"Come in." She said with a steady voice.

Brian opens the door and steps in. He immediately noticed Barba asleep in the chair and closed the door a little hard. The Noise from the closing door woke Barba. Unintentionally it had also scared Olivia who had jumped at the noise and was still shaking slightly.

Barba sat up straight and rubbed his hands over his face. He looked around for a moment to figure out what was happening. Olivia had a terrified look on her face but she appeared to be calming down. Brian was glaring at him. Under the glare there was sadness. Rafael then stood and walked to the door.

"I'm going to go get us some coffee." Barba said over his shoulder leaving and gently closing the door.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Brian said loudly.

Although he was not yelling it still began to make Olivia feel uneasy.

"I called him last night. He came down and we talked for a while." Olivia said calmly and slightly quitter then Brian had been speaking hoping he would also lower his voice.

"Why didn't you call me? You called him when Lewis had you too? I thought I was your boyfriend?" Brain continued to yell.

Olivia began to shake. The Yelling and bringing up Lewis were both uncalled for.

"Brian Stop!" Olivia cried out, Tears began to run down her face.

Brian stopped when he saw Olivia crying. He sat down at the foot of her bed and put his face in his hands.

When he looked back up Olivia was still crying and he felt useless.

"Olivia, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled….I don't know what to do here Liv. This is the same reason I left Special Victims all those years ago. I can't deal with these situations. I just…I can't. I'm really sorry for yelling and I'm sorry but I just don't think we should be together right now. I know that this isn't the right thing to do either. I know you need time to deal with everything that has happened and so do I. I love you Olivia. I do. But I can't be her right now."

Brian stood from the end of the bed and walked out of the room. This time the door closed smoothly and Olivia was left alone, left to her thoughts, and her pain, and her tears.

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVU-

Elliot sat in his Jeep outside the hospital. He had left with everyone else last night. But instead of heading home he had gone around the block and parked again. He had sat there all night staring into the dark. His mind racing with everything that had happened since he had first seen the news, He had also been watching, He knew Lewis was dead but somehow he still didn't feel she was safe. Images had plagued his mind all night. He could see clips of the surveillance video as Lewis kicked her while she hung by her arms from the car door. He could see her covered in blood as they helped her out of the cabin. He could see her holding that gun to her head.

He had watched the entrance of the hospital like a hawk all night. Rafael had shown up around three. Thankfully Elliot had parked discreetly enough that he hadn't been seen. He wondered why the ADA had shown up in the middle of the night but had not dwelled on it. Despite having only known him a couple of days he trusted him.

Brian had shown up about half an hour ago. He had walked around in front of the hospital for a while and then eventually went in.

Rafael had left shortly after Brian had arrived.

As Elliot continued to watch he saw Brian walk out the doors again. Elliot Had not expected Brian to leave so soon. In fact he had expected Olivia to be leaving with him. Elliot could make out Brains shoulders heaving slightly and he could see his eyes where brimmed with red. Had something happened to Olivia? Was there some kind of complications due to her injuries? Elliot began to feel panic once again rise in his body.

He then saw Rafael return carrying a drink carrier full of coffee cups. Elliot watched as the two men interacted. Brian had taken the cup of coffee he was offered and nodded at the end of their conversation.

Brian walked down the sidewalk away from the hospital and got into his car. Elliot continued to watch still feeling uneasy. Rafael then turned and walked away from the entrance of the hospital and up the side walk. Elliot couldn't see where he had gone. He waited a few moments and then was startled by someone knocking on the window of his car.

He looked at the passenger side window and saw Rafael standing there.

Elliot felt a wave of embarrassment come over him. But he knew he had to face it. He hit the unlock button on the door. Rafael opened the door and climbed into the Jeep. He set the drink carrier in his lap and looked out the front window.

"Here" Rafael said handing him a hot cup of coffee.

Elliot took the cup and thanked him.

"How did you know I was here?" Elliot asked as they both sat there starring out the window of the car sipping their coffee.

"I saw the Jeep last night when I came down here. When I realized it was still here when I went to get coffee I figured you could use a cup." Rafael said.

Elliot nodded and sipped his coffee again.

"Is Olivia alright? I saw Brian leave figured she'd be leaving with him?" Elliot said. He spoke calmly but a storm was bubbling inside of him.

"He broke up with her. Couldn't handle the situation…Figured I'd come give you your coffee and give her a minute alone…Do you want to come up with me?" Barba asked

Elliot contemplated for a moment. He wanted to see her. Wanted to talk to her try and calm things down a little but he didn't want to upset her.

" I don't want to upset her. She was pretty livid with me last night and for good reason I just don't want to make today any harder on her. She's already gone through a nightmare and now her boyfriend walks out on her, She doesn't need me to go in there and make things worse."

" I think we are the people she needs right now. People who will treat her normally. People who will be there to help her the way she needs to be helped but not over step." Rafael said in his convincing tone.

"Does she know I'm sitting down here?" Elliot asked still staring out the window.

"No, like I said I saw you last night but when she called me she was pretty rattled I didn't want to add to it….She did talk about you last night a little." Rafael stated plainly.

Elliots breath hitched at the thought that Olivia had spoken to Rafael about him; Especially after the yelling that had happened earlier in the day… And she had just experienced the worst days of her life. All of that was quickly pushed out of his mind as he realized the more startaling part of Rafael's statement.

"What do you mean she was rattled? What had her rattled if at three in the morning? What was she even doing awake at that hour?" Elliot said turning to face Rafael.

Rafael turned to face Elliot as well. Rafael's face had a ' Are you serious?' look plastered on his face.

" She's been through hell, She wasn't sleeping and when she called all she said was that she didn't want to be alone."

Elliot Shook his head. He tried to clear it. Then he nodded showing he understood what Rafael had said.

"Yeah your…What the hell?" Elliot said and then jumped out of his Jeep.

Rafael was started by the sudden reaction. He placed his Coffee in the cup holder quickly and bailed out of the Jeep as well. He followed a few steps behind Elliot until he saw why he had taken off running in the first place.

Olivia took a deep breath as she stepped out of the hospital. Although it had been less than twenty four hours since she had been brought in she felt like months had passed. She tucked her hands into the pockets of the jacket she had on Rafael had left it in the room when he left to get coffee.

She looked down at her feet. She was wearing what she could only describe as prison clothing. She wore slip on shoes that had a grey hue to them and dusty grey sweat pants a nurse had given her as well as a washed out pail blue scrubs shirt. Over the top of this was Rafael's warm jacket. It was black and surprisingly fit her wall. It smelled like him. The smell was comforting. It was familiar and safe. Olivia had tucked the medication in the pocket of the jacket to that her battered hands didn't have to support anything.

She looked up for a moment. She felt lost. Like a traveler stepping out of the train station in a place he doesn't know. She felt unsure about where she was supposed to go. He first thought was home. But then the memories of everything that had happened there shut that idea down quickly. She then thought about the squad room. It had been her home away from home for most of her adult life. However she couldn't go there either. Even if she wasn't broken burned and bruised there is no way that Creagen would let here anywhere need work for a while.

Olivia flinched and looked up quickly at the sound of two sets of feet charging in her direction. She flinched again when she realized that the people belonging to the running feet had just stopped right in front of her. She felt the fear and anger at herself well back up. Her vision got blurry for a moment and then she cleared her mind enough to compose herself and look at the two men standing in front of her.

"Sorry I just need to get out of there." She whispered as she turned to walk away from them.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter please leave a review and let me know what you think.


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